


Broken Wings

by Kayah371



Category: Glee
Genre: Dalton Academy, Dalton Academy Warblers, Klaine, M/M, Mpreg, Mpreg Blaine Anderson, klaine endgame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:42:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 38,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26217337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kayah371/pseuds/Kayah371
Summary: When Kurt enrolls at Dalton Academy he excepts a safe heaven and maybe some pining after Blaine Anderson who is very much taken. What he doesn't expect is to find out that Blaine may not be as perfect as he seems and his life may not be as easy as it looks. While Kurt tries to get a hold of his feelings Blaine watches as his life falls apart, piece by piece.
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel, Blaine Anderson/Sebastian Smythe
Comments: 31
Kudos: 46





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! So some of you may be familiar with this story as it is a rewrite of my previous one by the same title posted (but never finished) on my account on a different site. I hope you like this version. It's still far from perfect but I think that I like it. Enjoy!

The car came to a half. Kurt opened his eyes and looked out the window, at the majestic building towering in the distance. The sight was comforting even if he felt like he was running away from his problems. But he had tried to face them, had tried to walk the hallways with his head high only to be treated like garbage. At least now he would be free and the only problems he would be facing would be trivial and mostly harmless. 

The boy looked over at his dad and though his eyes seemed dry, the way he was looking at Kurt indicated that the man was more emotional than usual. “It’s only temporary.” Kurt assured Burt feeling bad enough that his dad wouldn’t be able to take Carole on a proper honeymoon. “And if the money’s tight I can always-”

“Don’t you dare talk about the money to me right now.” Burt cut his son off shaking his head. “The only thing you should now be focusing on is keeping your nose in the books.” Then his voice became softer. “And not worrying yourself that some asshole may want to punch you.”

Kurt smiled softly, trying to keep his composure even though his tears were threatening to fall. He blinked them away, though, and smiled back at his father. “I’ll be home for the weekend.”

Burt smirked. “I doubt it.” He said. “But sure thing, buddy. Come whenever you can.”

After a few more good-byes Kurt grabbed his suitcase from the trunk and watched as his father drove away giving him a small wave. Still feeling a little chocked up, Kurt turned towards the building. It was late afternoon, the classes were finished, and some students were enjoying the still warm weather in the park surrounding the academy.

The boy kept looking around, trying to spot a familiar set of warm honey-colored eyes. Yet, his friend was nowhere to be found. Kurt frowned checking his cell phone. Blaine was supposed to be waiting for him, to show him around, to take him to the headmaster and help him settle in. Maybe they hadn’t known each other that long but Kurt knew it wasn’t like Blaine to stood him up like that.

Kurt texted him and after a few minutes he got a response that Blaine forgot and couldn’t make it but that he was sending Wes to the rescue. Kurt made an angry face at his cell phone, though he would never show Blaine how unhappy he was that it wasn’t him that would help him.

He knew that if Blaine didn’t show up because he “forgot” it probably meant that he was too preoccupied spending time with Sebastian, his boyfriend. Kurt had been a little surprised but mostly disappointed when he found out that the dashing Blaine Anderson was, in fact, taken. He shouldn’t have been surprised in all honesty that someone like him wasn’t single. 

At the time of their first encounter the mysterious Sebastian Smythe had been in Paris, France. Because of course Blaine wouldn’t be with your average guy. No, his boyfriend would turn out to be a rich, spoiled brat that probably showered Blaine with gifts and things that Kurt would never in his lifetime be able to afford.

Kurt shook his head. It was his jealously speaking. He didn’t even know the guy. For all he knew it could a perfectly decent and down-to-earth individual. He was just bitter that his crush had a boyfriend. And he wasn’t about to attempt to break the couple up. Not that he even had a chance…

“Hey, Kurt.” The boy was pulled out of his thoughts when he heard Wes’ voice. “You need some help with that?” He asked gesturing at the suitcase Kurt was holding. But before he could answer that he was perfectly capable of taking care of it on his own Wes snatched the suitcase from him and began walking towards the school.

Kurt quickly caught up with him. “Ugh, thanks.” He answered feeling a little awkward. He had met some of the Warbles, including Wes, during his failed attempt to spy on them but he had become friends only with Blaine as they shared a lot of their struggles. “Blaine was supposed to help me.” He complained. “Do you know what happened?”

Wes rolled his eyes. “Sebastian happened.” Of course. Kurt shouldn’t have asked. It was only making him more upset. “They made some last minute dinner plans with Blaine’s parents.”

Kurt nodded his head following Wes inside the building and wishing that things were different.

\---

Blaine felt absolutely horrible for standing Kurt up. The poor guy was alone in a new place, counting on him to make the place slightly less unfamiliar. If he at least hadn’t forgotten about it and made sure that someone else was waiting for him. But no, Blaine had to fuck up. 

His mother laughed at something Sebastian said as she downed almost an entire glass of red wine and the boy had to focus hard to register what they were talking about. “Wow, I really need to see Paris this time of the year if it is as lovely as you say.” 

“Yeah, I’ve been telling Blaine that he should join me.” Sebastian said resting his hand on Blaine’s knee. “My grandmother would love to meet him.”

Blaine rolled his eyes. “We’ve been over this.” He said through gritted teeth remembering their conversation right before Sebastian’s departure that quickly turned into a full-blown fight. Sebastian kept arguing that his boyfriend should join him but Blaine really didn’t feel like falling behind with his schoolwork. Besides that, Sectionals were approaching and there were tons of work with that as well.

And then there was Kurt. But that happened later.

Sebastian seemed to be deaf to his reasoning. After all, why did he have an army of overpriced tutors if not to do all of his assignments for him? And as his father was good friends with the headmaster Sebastian didn’t have to worry much about passing any tests or exams. Blaine wasn’t that lucky. Not that he wanted to have an unfair advantage over his classmates. Sebastian didn’t mind that and so Blaine kept quiet about it. Usually. 

But when Sebastian felt offended that Blaine wouldn’t accept his help in order to go together for a romantic trip to Paris the boy couldn’t keep his mouth shut anymore. He had to comment on how privileged his boyfriend was for having the luxury of basically not having to attend any of his classes and still passing each of them with flying colors.

“It wouldn’t be fair.” Blaine had said back then. “Not everyone can buy their grades with daddy’s money.” Blaine regretted those words almost immediately. Sebastian glared at him, his fists clenching. 

“Excuse me?” Sebastian asked tossing the plane tickets he had been gripping into the air. “This is called using the assets that you have been provided, Blaine. It’s not my fault that I’m rich and it’s not my fault that some people are poor.” He said. “I just don’t understand why you won’t use the chance to see the most fucking romantic city in the world with your boyfriend.”

And the problem was also that Blaine actually really, really wanted to see France. In addition, Maria, Sebastian’s grandmother was allegedly the sweetest old lady in the world and she lived in a palace. Who wouldn’t want to stay in a palace? It would also be a good opportunity for Blaine to polish his French since his skills in that department left much to be desired. 

But Blaine didn’t want to be a hypocrite, so they fought more and nearly broke up over such a stupid thing. Only when Sebastian was already in Paris Blaine gave in and called him missing him too much to stay mad at him for much more time. They both apologized and agreed to forget about the whole thing and everything was fine. Sebastian brought him some designer clothes that Blaine didn’t ask for and his favorite chocolate and raspberry macaroons. And all was well in the world.

Until Sebastian decided to bring it up while they were having dinner with Blaine’s parents. “Next time.” Blaine finally said with a small smile, deciding that it was not worth yet another fight. Soon Richard, Blaine’s father, came from the kitchen with a platter of expensive cheese and the conversation took a route that the boy particularly hated. Their plans for the future. 

Sebastian would always use this opportunity to boast and tell them about his plans to apply to the best law schools in the country, or maybe even look for something in Europe. Blaine’s parents loved Sebastian for this and they were hoping that he would right their son in this aspect. Meanwhile, Blaine still had trouble figuring out what to do with his life. All he knew was that he loved performing and that it was something that he wanted to play a big part in his life. Richard and Pamela didn’t even want to hear about it. When they were being particularly difficult Blaine would murmur under his breath that maybe he would think about becoming a doctor or something like that. But he was saying that only to please them and get them off his case. 

Sebastian kept talking and laughing with Blaine’s parents who were worshiping the ground he walked on. While his boyfriend sat silently beside him checking his watch every five minutes and waiting for the time to pass. He wanted to go back to Dalton, end this charade and check if Kurt was doing okay.

\---

After a brief conversation with a nice lady that was headmaster’s secretary, Kurt was given a key to his dorm and sadly discovered that he would share it with two other boys. However, when he told Wes the number of his room his face lit up. “Don’t tell me that it’s your dorm.” Kurt said. That would be too big of a coincidence since the boarding school was so big.

Wes waved his hand. “Nah, I share my room with Blaine.” Kurt’s face fell but he tried not to give it away. How lucky would he get if by some miracle he ended up in the same room as Blaine? Well, too lucky, apparently. “Jeff and Nick reside there. They may get a bit intense sometimes but you’ll be in good hands.”

Kurt nodded his head as he followed Wes across the building, through the corridors. First they walked through the part where all the classes took place. Wes told him all about the fantastic (for the most part) teachers they had, sports teams and the Warblers. 

What more interested Kurt was how epic the school looked. He had only seen so many paintings in a museum before. The classes were over for the day but they still could see some students in common areas, laughing and enjoying themselves. Kurt smiled to himself hoping that it would turn out to be a perfect place for someone like him.

Then they went outside and Kurt saw the impressive football field behind the building. No wonder the tuition was so high. Wes led him to another building where the dorms were located. This was still elegant but the atmosphere seemed more casual. Occasional curse words could be heard as the students talked loudly from their dorm rooms. 

They reached Kurt’s dorm and he fully expected Wes to knock but instead he just pushed the door open. Inside, Kurt saw two vaguely familiar faces. He knew them by names but Wes still introduced them.

“This is Jeff.” Wes pointed at the blond boy laying on the bed by the window with earbuds in his ears. Seeing Kurt he took them out. “And this is Nick.” He gestured at a dark-haired boy sitting by a desk with a book laid down in front of him.

“Oh, so you’re our new roomie.” Jeff said with a smile. “Interesting.” He said sharing a look with his friend.

“Welcome, Kurt.” Nick spoke barely looking up from his book. “This one’s yours.” He said gesturing at the bed that was clattered by a lot of different papers and clothes. “Jeff will clean that up for you.”

“Why me?” Jeff asked.

“Because most of that’s your shit.” Nick pointed out.

Jeff groaned loudly but obediently started gathering all of their things and making room for Kurt. Once he finally had his bed free of garbage he unpacked while listening to his new friends ramble and bicker to each other. He didn’t know them well but they seemed like fun and open-minded guys. He really hoped he would feel at home with them. 

Then he went to the bathroom and sorted out all of his toiletries. “Do you have any kind of schedule for using the bathroom in the morning and in the evening?” He asked his new roommates who turned to him with blank faces. “Then I think we will have to figure something out because my moisturizing routine can take up to an hour.”

But after hearing that Jeff started laughing while Nick just shook his head with a smirk. 

Kurt didn’t find anything funny about it. 

\---

It kept tapping into his subconscious, slowly sneaking into his brain, like a virus that would soon infect his mind with an idea that would not go away and that would turn out to be life-changing not only for Blaine but also for those around him.

But back then it was just a weird feeling that was making itself at home somewhere in the back of Blaine’s mind. That maybe there was something more to his frequent headaches and minor nausea than being overworked.

For now Blaine didn’t think about any of that as he let Sebastian drive them back to Dalton. Not in the best mood after the dinner Blaine turned down his boyfriend’s offer to go back to his room (him having a single room was yet another privilege) and instead went to his own which he shared with his best friend, Wes. The boy in question was sitting at his desk and writing something in his notebook, probably doing his homework.

“Another day in the paradise?” Wes asked half-turning in his chair. Blaine took off his shoes and fell face-flat onto his bed groaning loudly. “That bad?” Wes smirked.

“No.” Blaine said because really the dinner could have gone much worse. His parents could have asked about a specific college major that he was supposed to already know he was going to choose in a couple of years. “I’m just tired of life in general, I guess.”

Wes chuckled but continued to scribble. “I know what you mean.” He said. “And it’s just going to get worse with Sectionals coming up and we have to show Kurt how we do things around here.”

“Right, Kurt.” Blaine said lifting himself off the bed. “I should go check on him, huh?”

Wes shrugged. “It seemed to me like he was doing well enough for himself. Besides, he’s roommates with Nick and Jeff. He’s in good hands.”

“Still.” Blaine said. “I should since I already forgot about him once today.” He stood up, let out a yawn gaining another chuckle from his best friend and left the dorm room. He went through the maze of corridors that he still didn’t know perfectly himself until he reached the dorm room that housed Jeff and Nick and from then on also Kurt.

He usually didn’t knock and just let himself in not caring that his friends could possibly be half-naked but for some reason, knowing that he could find Kurt in a compromising position, Blaine decided to act decent and knock for once. “Open!” He heard Jeff’s yell from inside.

He pushed the door open and saw Jeff at his desk typing something frantically on the keyboard of his laptop, Nick talking through the phone from the bathroom in a sweet voice (it was probably his girlfriend) and Kurt sitting awkwardly on his bed – still fully dressed in his uniform while the two other boys were both wearing more casual attires. 

As soon as Kurt saw Blaine his eyes lit up and he smiled softly. “Hi.” Kurt greeted him quietly, almost shyly. 

“Hi.” Blaine said smiling back apologetically. “I’m sorry for standing you up like that.” He said. “It’s just that Sebastian surprised me and I might have forgotten.”

A shadow of something that Blaine couldn’t put a name to flashed across his friend’s face. “It’s fine.” Kurt said with a shrug.

“Oh, don’t worry about our little Kurt.” Jeff said abandoning his laptop and joining Kurt on his bed. The boy wrapped his arm around Kurt’s shoulders and squeezed him which made him flinch just so slightly. Blaine’s heart broke just a little when he saw just what damage all the bullies had done to him. “We took care of him.”

“They did.” Kurt confirmed. “Really, it’s fine. I’m fine.” Something of an awkward air fell between them and Blaine wasn’t sure why.

“I’ll leave you to settle in then.” Blaine said already moving back towards the door. “Goodnight.” 

“Okay.” Kurt said with that awkward smile still plastered to his face. “See you during rehearsals?”

Blaine’s face fell as Jeff chuckled, “Oh, poor naive Kurt.” The blond boy said squeezing Kurt’s shoulders even tighter. “This is not a public dump anymore. Your little glee club might have accepted everyone but Warbles do have standards.”

Kurt looked a bit taken aback and even a little hurt. “Jeff.” Blaine said looking at his friend pointedly. “Yes, you do have to go through an audition but with a voice like yours it’s just a formality.” He tried to reassure Kurt.

“He knows I’m just messing with him.” Jeff said.

Kurt laughed awkwardly. “i know. I completely get it.” He said. “We had auditions at McKinley too.”

“Yeah, but ours are serious auditions.” Jeff said. “You may actually not get in...”

Blaine rolled his eyes. “Don’t scare him, Jeff.” But Kurt seemed to get that this was just a joke. He was laughing with Jeff. “He’s joking.”

“Still.” Kurt said. “I will make sure to prepare myself well.”

Blaine smiled. “Good. I can’t wait.” 

Seeing as Kurt was doing well, much better than Blaine when he first enrolled at Dalton, the boy left the trio, not wanting to appear too overbearing. His friend was in good hands.


	2. Chapter 2

Upon enrolling at Dalton Kurt had known that the school would be much different that McKinley but he hadn’t expected it to be that different and that much more challenging. Looking at all the football players at his old school not being very intelligent and yet still somehow usually passing all their classes, Kurt considered himself at least a bit smarter than average. 

But now it seemed like he had crossed a border into a world full of overambitious, attention-hungry students that fought over every scrap of teacher’s approval they could get. Each question regarding even the most complicated of matters, even the ones that would be discussed later on in the year were met with a forest of raised hands.

Kurt watched it all from the back of the class wondering how the hell they did that and how the hell he was going to do that as well. The first week Kurt spent trying to figure out just how behind everyone else he was. He quickly figured that he would have to sacrifice quite a few evenings trying to catch up with everyone else. 

And there were also Warblers’ practices that took place three times a week and each lasted about two hours. Kurt quickly discovered that preparing for Sectionals was also much different from what he was used to. There was no nervous running around and trying to figure what songs they would song, no yelling, no fighting over solos. Everything came down to voting of upperclassmen, led by Wes.

Thankfully Kurt’s audition really turned out to be just a formality but when it came down to actual decision-making, Kurt had to silently sit in the back and just watch others do their thing. Apparently new members didn’t have voting privileges. He had to bite his tongue quite a few times when he had a perfect song idea but also when he had to look at Blaine and Sebastian, their hands joined between them.

Every once in a while Sebastian would catch his gaze and send a dirty look his way. Kurt didn’t know the guy but there was something about his meerkat face that made his blood boil. Well, it probably had something to do with the fact that he dated the boy Kurt had a crush on but at the same time there was something else. An unpleasant aura of cockiness that he seemed to be spreading. 

Kurt kept looking at the two of them and trying to find any creaks in their seemingly perfect relationship. Sebastian couldn’t be ideal after all. So he kept watching the two of them very carefully: every movement, every smile and every hushed conversation. Kurt didn’t even know what he was doing it for. He wasn’t the type to steal someone else’s boyfriend after all. 

Or was he?

Kurt shook his head trying to banish that thought. No, he wouldn’t try to steal anyone from anyone else (and Blaine was his own person and he wasn’t owned by anybody) but he would sit patiently and watch them and if Sebastian turned out to be a bad boyfriend like he suspected he was he would quickly intervene and comfort Blaine if need arose. 

The first Warblers’ practice Kurt attended went by smoothly and soon they all went their separate ways. Much to his delight Blaine stayed behind while his boyfriend walked on through the corridors along with other students. Kurt couldn’t keep himself from smiling as Blaine walked up to him.

“Hey, fellow Warbler.” Blaine said with a smile.

“Hey, Warbler.” The word still felt funny on his tongue but he liked the sound of it. Much to his surprise Blaine straightened out his tie and blazer (entering Kurt’s personal space and definitely not giving him pleasant chills). “Oh, okay.”

“It was a bit askew.” Blaine said stepping away. “How did you like it? Did it live up to your expectations?” The shorter boy asked as they walked towards the exit and then through the corridor. Kurt thought that it was adorable that Blaine thought of the practice as something he would have some astronomical expectations for.

Kurt had been sad to learn that Blaine was a year younger than him and therefore they didn’t share any classes. The rehearsals seemed to be the only opportunity to talk to Blaine and even then Sebastian pawned over him and made it impossible for them to talk throughout...at least during this one but Kurt assumed that it would be often like this.

It was already Wednesday and they hadn’t really talked at all since Kurt’s arrival on Saturday so he was glad that they at least had this moment to talk one on one. “Oh, it’s much different than what I’m used to.” Kurt admitted looking at all the students passing him that didn’t pose any threat to him. “But good different. Very good different.” He said, the memories of walking through the school on high alert, ready to find a hiding spot if necessary still fresh in his mind. “It’s nice not to have Rachel focusing all the spotlight on herself for once.” He said deciding not to mention the more upsetting parts he was trying to forget.

Blaine chuckled. “There will be no fighting for spotlight.” He said. “Warblers are more about being a team, not about standing out. That’s how we win things.” Blaine shrugged, the easy smile still firmly in place. Kurt couldn’t help himself from daydreaming about Blaine smiling like that at him every second of every day for the rest of their lives. Why did he have to be so freaking perfect?

But the smile was gone much sooner than expected and replaced by a grimace of discomfort. The boy’s face went pale and he slowed down. “Are you okay, Blaine?”

The boy clearly was doing his best to fake a smile but it was not fooling Kurt. “I’m fine.” Blaine assured his friend as he took a couple of deep breath. “I just have an upset stomach. That’s all.”

“Are you sure?” Kurt asked looking worriedly at Blaine. “I could take you to the nurse’s office or maybe you guys have here a whole goddamn hospital. I have no idea.” Kurt was worried. Blaine was usually the picture of sheer perfection and to see him in any state other than that was jarring. But if anything it just made him appear more human instead of a model of a perfect student, a perfect performer and a perfect boyfriend material. Well, Kurt still viewed him as all of those things.

“I’m fine. Really.” Blaine kept saying, still with that strained smile. “I just need to lie down for a few minutes and I’ll be okay.” His face seemed to regain some color and his step quickened again. “Will you be okay?”

“Me? I’m not the one looking as green as Elpheba.” Kurt said. 

Blaine chuckled looking more like himself again. “I already feel better.”

“Do you need me to help you get back to your dorm?” Kurt asked, ready to jump at every opportunity to show Blaine how much he cared. 

“No need. I’m fine and Wes is there anyway.” Blaine said as they entered the dormitory building. “Take care, Kurt. We’ll talk again soon.” He said walking up one flight of stairs where his and Wes’ dorm was located while Kurt stayed downstairs trailing after his friend with his eyes and wondering what was going on with him.

\---

Blaine felt drops of sweat on his forehead as he locked himself in the bathroom, trying to hide from Wes’ judgmental stare. He had been out the night before with Sebastian, they hit some clubs and returned to Dalton quite late (The guard, Mr. Kowalski greeted Sebastian at 3 AM like he was royalty instead of firmly refusing to let them in like he would do in the case of any other student). 

Wes had to be convinced that Blaine was hungover, running back and forth between the bathroom and their room much more often than usual. While in reality Blaine couldn’t find any reason why he would be sick and not have any other symptoms than nausea. 

He hadn’t drank even a drop of alcohol last night choosing to be the designated driver instead. Sebastian had insisted on either taking his dad’s driver or driving himself (he claimed that he drove better drunk than sober anyway). Blaine refused both options. Both him and Sebastian were pretty lightweight and so he didn’t want them to embarrass themselves in front of someone who could report it back to Sebastian’s dad and he would never allow Sebastian to drive drunk again.

As per usual, Sebastian had gotten himself drunk, dancing all over the nightclub and unable to tell where Blaine was as he groped his way through the crowd of poor oblivious people that just wanted to dance and not deal with a grabby teenager. Blaine had tried to get a hold of Sebastian somehow but ended up dragging him out of the club and letting him sleep a little in the back of the car before they went back to Dalton. 

After their encounter with Mr. Kowalski Blaine half-carried his boyfriend to his dorm room and tucked him into bed while patiently explaining to him that he would not sleep with him. They sometimes did that. Blaine would stay with Sebastian and they would either just sleep...or do other things when they were in mood.

And that night Blaine was definitely not in the mood. His head was hurting from the loud music in the nightclub and he just overall felt off and just wanted to sleep, preferably in his own bed. Sebastian pretested weakly but quickly fell asleep, spreading his body across the whole bed and not leaving any room for Blaine even if he wanted to stay.

Blaine looked at his boyfriend for a while from the doorway, keeping the door half-open and not able to decide if Sebastian was more adorable or ridiculous with his drinking habits. Probably the combination of both. Then he left and quietly tip-toed into his own dorm where Wes was snoring softly.

Blaine tried to be as quiet as possible as he slid into the bed not even bothering to wash himself but Wes was a ridiculously light sleeper so he of course woke up and didn’t hesitate before throwing a passive-aggressive remark at him. “Had fun with Mr. Richie Rich?” 

The boy rolled his eyes not bothering to answer and instead covered his ears with the duvet. He fell asleep in the matter of seconds. But as soon as he woke up in the morning Blaine felt even more sick than before, like he had actually drunk something that night. And the feeling never really left and lasted all throughout his classes and the rehearsal.

Sebastian was pretty miserable himself, not up for going out to eat dinner at some fancy restaurant like he usually would. They both agreed to sleep the previous night off and do something fun the next day. 

Blaine kept himself locked in the bathroom in case he needed to use the toilet again. He felt better but he didn’t feel like moving so instead he just kept scrolling through the internet, looking at memes or more educational information. But then he saw a weird article reposted on Facebook by one of his friends that was quite deep in the gay rights movement and all things connected to it. It had a pretty bold statement as the title The Rates of Male Pregnancy Is Constantly Increasing, so he clicked on it.

He had read about male pregnancy once or twice in the past but considered it more of a fun trivia than an actual possibility as something that could happen to someone he knew, much less himself, because it was so rare. Blaine skimmed through the article and then started looking at something else but the thought, the idea, stayed hidden somewhere in the back of his mind long after he had read it. As if a part of him already suspected something.

\---

Kurt’s head was starting to hurt from studying a couple of hours every day and listening to Jeff and Nick bicker about the most ridiculous of things. So soon after his short conversation with Blaine Kurt decided to change out of his uniform into clothes that made him feel more like himself and drove to Lima Bean to hear McKinley’s latest gossip and just catch up with one and only Rachel Berry.

He had no idea that he would actually feel so excited once he saw her. Her screechy voice didn’t even annoy him all that much for once. He listened to her go on for some time about confidentiality of all things. “Kurt, you know I love you but we are rivals now.” Rachel said sipping on her Latte with almond milk. “I can’t just share with you the details of our performance.” 

Kurt rolled his eyes. “I was there for quite some time, Rachel.” He said. “I know you still have nothing.” 

Rachel looked shocked by Kurt’s accusation. “That’s not true. We have...mostly everything all planned out.” She bit on her bottom lip, her eyes focusing on her cup of coffee. “Can I tell you something in complete confidence?” She asked in a low voice, leaning forward as if someone in the coffee shop actually cared about their competition and was just waiting to steal all the ideas. It seemed ridiculous but Kurt still took a quick look around in search of any curious eyes. You could never be too careful.

“Sure.” Kurt said even though he had trouble deciding where his loyalties laid these days. Rachel didn’t need to know that though. 

“I’m not getting the solo.” She said in a voice of someone who was repeating a repulsing heresy that someone else had said. “At all. Mr. Shue is going insane. I don’t think he realizes at how terrible position it puts us.” She paused for a second, as if still not fully able to process all the travesties. “And I think I could understand if the solos were given to someone like Mercedes but no. Mr. Shue apparently thinks that we have a chance to win with Quinn and Sam as the leads. They can barely hit the right notes!” She shook her head, leaning back in her chair and taking another sip of her coffee. “We will lose and if a Broadway scout comes to watch he won’t hear my voice.”

Kurt wanted to laugh but he knew that it would only upset Rachel even more. He doubted that anyone involved with Broadway would come to watch high school show choir competition in Ohio of all places to find the next big star. But he had to admit that a part of him wished that he was still part of New Directions so that he could fight for the spot in the center if the brightest star of their glee club was out of the equation. “Have you filled my spot yet?” Kurt said.

“Yes, Puck recruited Lauren Zizes.” Rachel said, her tone flat. 

The name didn’t ring a bell. “Have I ever met her? I don’t remember her name.”

“She’s the president of the RV club. She helped me once with something. But Lauren doesn’t matter.” Rachel was looking at Kurt, or rather through him, as if still thinking of a possible future that could have been if she had been given that solo. “She’s just there to sway in the background behind everyone else.”

Kurt slowly nodded his head as he sipped on his own non-fat mocha. He missed all the drama that was related to the glee club. The only drama he could count on at Dalton were the dirty looks he had to endure sent his way by Sebastian but that wasn’t something he particularly enjoyed. “At least you don’t have to worry about me trying to push myself into your spotlight.” Kurt said, only half-joking.

The little snickering smile that presented itself across Rachel’s face indicated that she didn’t consider Kurt as much of a competition for her, at least if they were on the same team. “Right.” His friend said and Kurt tried not to give away how offended he felt. “Anyway.” She said, a bright smile replacing the old one. “Better tell me all about you and Blaine.”

Kurt felt his cheeks turn red. It was a common occurrence whenever anyone mentioned his crush. He had been foolish enough to confess his feelings to Rachel and now he had to pay the price. Rachel was overall a good friend but she wasn’t all that good at keeping secrets so now Kurt lived in constant fear of her telling the wrong person and the word somehow finding its way back to Blaine. “There is no me and Blaine.” He said sadly, not really wanting to dwell on that too much. “I’ve told you, he has a boyfriend.” 

“Well, is he hot? The boyfriend?” 

Kurt rolled his eyes. Of course that would be the thing that interested Rachel the most. “Sebastian Smythe is hot and rich and probably many other things I don't even want to know about.” The girl raised her eyebrows in question. “He’s the kind of rich that can take Blaine on trips around Europe a few times a year and goes on his own twice as often.” He added bitterly, tracing his finger around the edge of his cup.

Rachel was silent for a moment, her fingers typing furiously on her cell phone. “He is cute.” The girl said showing Kurt the screen with Sebastian’s facebook account displayed on it. Kurt just stared at it, wanting to die right there and then just to avoid the heartache mixed with fury each time he saw that stupid face. “Oh, there are also pictures of him and Blaine together.” Kurt knew it. He knew all the cute pictures Sebastian had on his Facebook of him and Blaine in the park in front of the Dalton Academy main building. Kurt didn’t like to admit it but he had spent hours scrolling through them and doing his best no to cry. God, he was pathetic. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.” Rachel said, clearing reading right through his best friend,

Kurt tried to smile but it couldn’t possibly look as convincing as he would like. “It’s fine.” He lied. “I’m getting over him.” Kurt wished it was true, that he could snap his fingers and the sight of Sebastian and Blaine together wouldn’t make him see red anymore. 

Rachel didn’t look convinced at all but apparently it was clear that Kurt didn’t feel like talking about it so she left the topic alone and instead continued to complain about not getting a solo for Sectionals. It was once she was gone that Kurt started feeling the gaping hole in his heart, both because his best friend had gone and because he couldn’t get rid of the feelings he had for the first openly gay guy he met that just had to turn out to be unavailable.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So in this chapter (as well as in one of the future ones) there's a mention of the musical "Waitress". Now I know that it came out in 2015 and so it didn't exist back when the story takes place but can we just pretend that it did? This story probably exists thanks to the song "She Used to Be Mine."

Blaine thought that he was going to kill his boyfriend when Sebastian mentioned having dinner with his father, "Why did you ever think that it was a good idea?" Blaine complained as they laid together on Sebastian's bed in his dorm room. "He is even more annoying about our future plans than my parents and that's saying something."

He felt Sebastian's chest vibrate as he chuckled stroking Blaine's hair. "You know he means well. Everything's set. Tomorrow 8 PM at his favorite restaurant."

Blaine really hated spending any amount of time with Sebastian's father. The man was very business-like and clearly wanted to pressure his son and Blaine into joining him in his law firm after they had got a law degree. Blaine would always just sit patiently and nod his head every once in a while not being one to be impolite to people far older than him and that he wasn't very close with.

Much to his surprise Sebastian usually seemed genuinely interested in what his father had to say and didn't have that much drive to pursue music even though Blaine was of the opinion that his boyfriend had a great voice and could do amazing things with it only if he put his mind to it. There was still quite some time until they had to figure out what they wanted to do for college but Blaine was slowly beginning to think that maybe their plans for the future would end up differing. But they didn't talk about that just yet. There was still enough time for conversations of that sort.

So usually Blaine would agree just to please Sebastian and show him that their relationship worked both ways. The taller boy spent a substantial amount of time with Blaine's family as his parents simply adored him so if it meant spending couple of hours with Mr. Smythe every once in a while Blaine would grit his teeth and do it just for the sake of being a good boyfriend.

But today was not a good day to mess with Blaine or force him into situations he wasn't comfortable with. He still felt sick and every single thing that he usually paid no mind to irritated him to no end. Even Wes' breathing while they were doing homework made him want to punch the other boy. Suffice to say Blaine didn't feel like himself because the Blaine he knew would definitely not say any of the things he said next.

"I really don't feel like listening to his lectures right now." Blaine said with his eyes closed just wanting to relax for a second and forget about how awful he was feeling, how suffocating it was just laying there like that. But as those words left his mouth he could feel Sebastian's muscles tense ever so slightly. "He will probably remind me how useless music is. But there's really no need to since my own father is already excellent at doing that."

"Wow." Was all that Sebastian said but the way he said it made Blaine just more annoyed and mad at everything and everyone in general.

"What?"

"Just wow." He repeated sitting up more straight and looking Blaine in the eyes. "You never told me you felt this way about my father." The other boy just shrugged, not really in the mood for a discussion that he felt would end up in yet another fight. "You know he's just trying to look out for us, Blaine. He wants to make sure that both me and you have a good future."

Blaine could feel his blood boil. "Did you even ask me, at least once, what I want to do in the future?" Sebastian made a weird face as if his boyfriend's question was unwarranted or just plain stupid. "Did it ever occur to you, or to your father for that matter, that maybe I don't want to work in his stupid law firm?" Blaine knew he was being ridiculous and he knew that he would regret all those words later but he found himself unable to stop.

Sebastian stared at him blankly for some time but Blaine knew that deep down he was getting angry. "Well, what do you want to do in the future?" He asked at last, the question sounding slightly sarcastic.

"I don't know yet!" Blaine snapped feeling himself lose control over his actions.

"Then what is your problem?" Sebastian asked, clearly beyond confused with his boyfriend.

"I am a sophmore for crying out loud! I still have time to figure out what to do with my life." Blaine said trying to remain calm but was unable to do so. He didn't even know why he was getting so angry. "I don't need your father to dictate what I should or shouldn't do. Who is he to tell me that it's stupid to do music for a living? Maybe that's exactly what I want to do!"

"You just said that you don't know what you want to do." Sebastian pointed out.

Blaine felt like pulling his hair out. He stood up from the bed and started pacing the room with Sebastian's eyes following every one of his movements. "I don't but I'm just sick of people telling me what to do."

"You're being overdramatic." Sebastian said, boredom written all over his face. "I don't know what you want to hear from me."

"I just don't want to have the dinner with your father." Blaine said crossing his arms over his chest.

Sebastian threw his arms in the air as a sign of resignation. "Fine. Go. Don't go. I don't care. Just sort yourself out because I can't deal with...whatever this is." He said making a circle motion with his hand towards Blaine.

The boy shook his head. "Whatever. I'm going." Blaine said and without waiting for Sebastian to say anything else to him, he left his dorm room and went back to his own. Luckily Wes wasn't there because if he were he would surely end up being another one of the victims of Blaine's mood.

But as soon as Blaine was alone he felt his stomach tighten and he barely made it in time to hide his head in the toilet bowl. When he was done with that Blaine sat on the cold floor breathing heavily. He was getting seriously sick of being sick but it wasn't something that worried him too much at the moment.

What worried him was how he had left things with Sebastian. He immediately regretted snapping at him for no good reason. It was true that he had to force himself to sit through dinners with James Smythe but he didn't absolutely hate it. Blaine knew he shouldn't have acted like that, like a spoiled child that couldn't get his way. Well, he would do his best to make it up to Sebastian somehow but maybe for now some space wouldn't hurt.

\---

Despite all the hard work both in classes and during rehearsals Kurt really enjoyed his time at Dalton. Everyone was usually nice to him and as he got to know Jeff and Nick, it turned out that there wasn't a topic that he couldn't bring up with them and they spent a lot of time talking about stupid things or more serious ones.

But even with all that Kurt still couldn't wait for Friday to roll around so that he could go home and have a proper conversation with his father and to thank him for the millionth time for giving him this opportunity. Once it finally did roll around the classes seemed to stretch into infinity and once they were over there was still the rehearsal to get through. It wasn't too bad but Kurt couldn't help but notice that there was something off about Blaine.

At first Kurt thought that maybe he wasn't feeling well again but he quickly realized that it was something else and possibly that something was somehow related to Sebastian if the distance they kept between themselves was any indication. They didn't sit close and Kurt didn't see them talk to one another even once.

Kurt knew that it was wrong and selfish but a part of him couldn't help but be happy that there was something wrong about their relationship. He was still worried about his friend but at the same time if Blaine had to be miserable Kurt wasn't exactly unhappy that the source of that misery was apparently Sebastian.

When the practice ended and they were all sweaty and disgusting, Kurt quickly gathered all of his things and walked up to Blaine seeing as Sebastian already had left. "Wow, I surely didn't sweat all that much in my old glee club." Kurt said jokingly but blushed when he saw Blaine's puzzled look.

"Huh?"

"I just mean that we didn't work nowhere near as much as you do...we do here." Kurt quickly corrected himself.

Blaine shook his head giving him a faint smile. "Sorry. I was just thinking about something else."

"Seems to me more like someone else." Kurt pointed out hoping that he wasn't crossing a line.

The boy gave him that same strained smile. "Yeah, I guess so." Blaine replied as they walked out of the common room that the Warblers usually occupied. "I need to get some rest from him."

Kurt's heart skipped a beat even though he tried to tell himself that it didn't necessary need to mean anything. "Then you must be happy about going home for the weekend."

"Nah, I'm staying. I was supposed to spend the weekend with Sebastian but it didn't really work out." Blaine said as they slowly walked, neither of them in any hurry to get anywhere. "And I'm not going home since my parents are out for the weekend on some trip and I can't stand being alone in that big house. What about you?" Blaine asked turning to his friend.

"Same." Kurt said before he could think it through. "I'm staying too." He went on. "You know, I feel like I should get to know the place better." Kurt had promised everyone that he would be there for dinner and Carole was apparently going to prepare something both delicious and healthy and he really wanted to go home but this seemed like an opportunity that he just couldn't turn away because chances were it was not going to happen again anytime soon.

Blaine's face brightened up and Kurt knew that he could watch it do that over and over again. "How about we do something together then? Wes is going home too so I'll end up alone otherwise."

If this was physically possible Kurt would be floating above the ground. "So are Jeff and Nick." For once in his life, Kurt felt like maybe the stars finally aligned for him and something good was about to happen. "What is your stand on watching Broadway bootlegs?" Kurt asked, a list of musicals for them to watch together already forming in his head.

Blaine raised his eyebrows, as if in challenge. "I didn't know you were such a criminal."

"What can I say? I like to live on edge." They both chuckled, Kurt having some serious trouble containing his excitement for the upcoming weekend.

\---

During the weekends Dalton looked even more like a museum than it usually did as Kurt quickly discovered. He woke up a few minutes after 7, quite late for him, to the sweet sound of silence. For once the dorm wasn't a chaotic bedlam with both of his roommates getting up with only a few minutes to spare and then frantically running around getting ready.

They had settled with Blaine on meeting for lunch and then deciding together on what to do next. Burt and Carole had been understanding, thankfully. He could hear a smile in his father's voice as they spoke through the phone. "I told you, kid." He had said. "You wouldn't be back for many weekends."

Kurt just rolled his eyes but swore on his most expensive pair of shoes that he would definitely be there next week. His father only chuckled and Kurt could just picture him shaking his head fondly.

After that Kurt spent a ridiculous (at least it would be ridiculous for any other person, for Kurt it was perfectly reasonable) amount of time picking out his outfit. He had dragged half of his wardrobe back from home and was cursing himself for not bringing the other half since he was confident that the perfect outfit was somewhere in Lima and not his modest closet at Dalton,

In the end Kurt decided to tone himself down a bit for the occasion. It wasn't a date after all (no matter how much Kurt tried to will it into becoming one) and he didn't want Blaine to assume that he cared so much (even though he certainly did care that damn much) but he still he didn't want it to seem like he didn't care enough. After all, Kurt saw every outing as a fashion opportunity.

He chose a simple navy blue shirt with some subtle leaves printed over it and a pair of black form-fitting jeans. The whole outfit would be completed with a light jacket if they wanted to eat out. Then he started working on his hairstyle and once Kurt was confident that his hair looked good he realized that noon was already creeping up on him.

Kurt felt giddy as he left his dorm and then he felt stupid for that. Stupid and nervous. He tried to suppress those feelings, reminding himself for the millionth time that this was not a date. They were just two platonic friends (one of whom was taken anyway) spending time together and doing things that platonic friends did.

A smile spread itself across the boy's face when he saw Blaine leaning against the doorframe to the cafeteria. But he raised his eyebrows curiously when he noted the outfit Blaine was wearing. Well, there was not that much to note, really since he was wearing the standard Dalton Academy uniform. "Don't you own any other clothes?" Kurt couldn't stop himself from asking.

Blaine looked up from his cell phone that his eyes had been glued to and greeted his friend with a tired smile. Kurt's playful demeanor vanished as he realized just how tired Blaine looked. His eyes were bloodshot with dark circles underneath them and his face was pale. Kurt hoped that it would not become a norm any more than it already had. But it was more than his physical appearance. Underneath the strained smile that was really more of a grimace than anything else, there was something so deeply broken that Kurt had trouble wrapping his head around it. He looked old, as if he had already lived a lifetime and seen some unpleasant things.

But then again, maybe Kurt was imagining things and Blaine was just simply tired. But his gut was telling him that this was not the case. "I do own more clothes, for your information." Blaine said playfully shoving his cell phone into his pocket. "I just..." He shrugged looking down at his clothes. "I didn't really feel like thinking about what to wear. It was easier to just throw this on and be done with."

Kurt tried not to let it show that Blaine's words hurt him more than he'd like to admit to himself. There he was struggling to find an outfit that was just perfect while Blaine didn't put any effort whatsoever to impress Kurt. "Oh, I get it." He didn't, not really. Kurt liked the uniform fine but he was always eager to replace it with something that made him feel more like an individual and less like a bee in a hive. He tried to put it aside for the time being, though, because Blaine didn't seem completely okay. "Is everything okay, Blaine?" Kurt asked in concern hoping that for once Blaine wouldn't just brush it off and claim like usual that it was all fine. "You seem tired."

Blaine shrugged again, the smile becoming wider and in consequence more fake. "I'm fine." There it was. Kurt was getting tired of hearing that same old phrase over and over again, as if Blaine believed that if he said that enough times, Kurt would buy it. Too bad since Kurt could see right through the facade.

Kurt rolled his eyes crossing his arms over his chest and looking Blaine up and down, inspecting everything that there was to inspect. The other boy was slouching which made a striking contrast to his usual perfectly upright posture. "This is getting way too old way too quickly." Kurt said to which Blaine responded by raising his thick eyebrows. He looked adorable, Kurt noted but all of that had to be put aside for the time being.

"What do you mean?"

"I can see that something's wrong with you, Blaine." Kurt noticed that his voice was an octave or two too loud and that he sounded accusatory while in reality he was trying to be anything but. He took a deep breath and smiled softly. "What I mean is, you're like an open book. I know that something's bothering you." Kurt said in a voice that he hoped was less condescending. "And I want you to know that no matter what it is, I will be there for you. Like you were for me."

Kurt really hoped that it wasn't a line Blaine would hate him for crossing as he waited for the other boy's response. Much to his relief and surprise, the grimace that Blaine wanted him to believe was a smile was replaced but a real, genuine one. "You're cute when you're worried about me." He pointed out in a sweet voice making Kurt blush horribly. "But I'm starving. Can we talk it over a lunch, please?"

The blue-eyed boy nodded. "Yeah. I'm hungry too." It would be probably wiser to talk somewhere more private, and not in the middle of a hallway where people could hear them. "Do you want to go out or something?" Kurt proposed. "You know any place we can eat something good and not go completely bankrupt?" There had to be fancy restaurants all around Dalton praying on the wallets of the rich students.

Blaine gestured at the door he was leaning against with a winning smile. "How about here?" He asked.

Kurt's face fell. "The cafeteria?"

Blaine nodded. "I don't know about you, but I really don't feel like going out and the food here is not that bad after all." Then his smile widened. "And it's already paid for anyway!"

"Fair enough." Kurt agreed, though quite reluctantly. The food was much better that at McKinley, it was a private school after but still, Kurt wished they would go somewhere a bit nicer.

So definitely definitely not a date then.

Blaine opened the door for Kurt like the dapper gentleman that he was and they both grabbed trays before putting food on it. The blue-eyed boy was careful not to pick too many products with lots of carbs, opting for more protein-based foods while he watched in horror as Blaine grabbed fries, mashed potatoes, some green soup, fried chicken and a couple chocolate muffins.

"Are you going to eat all that?" Kurt asked as they took places at the table. Thankfully the cafeteria was mostly deserted with only a few students scattered around the hall. He tried not to sound too judgy but he had doubts that his friend would be able to shovel all that into his mouth.

Blaine looked at the food and then back at Kurt. "We'll see." He said. "I'm just so hungry." And then he began with the soup while Kurt started eating his chicken breast with riced cauliflower and veggies. "And really, you don't have to worry about me."

"And yet, I do." Kurt admitted. "Now. Spill everything."

Blaine shrugged, not bothering to stop eating. "I've just been a bit under the weather recently. And it's just keeping me up at night. That's all. Really. I promise." He paused for a moment, to shovel another spoonful of soup into his mouth. "And well, then there's Sebastian. He's been getting on my nerves recently and we're kind of not speaking right now."

Kurt leaned in closer, ready to drink every word from Blaine's lips, especially when it concerned boyfriend trouble. If that was really all it was then Kurt was more than eager to listen and give some advice if necessary. "Oh, what happened?" He asked.

Blaine shook his head. "I don't really know." But he did and he went on a tirade about how Sebastian had his whole life planned out while they were both only in high school and how even Mr, Smythe, of all people, knew what he wanted Sebastian and Blaine to study in college and what he wanted them to have for jobs. Kurt listened to it, finding himself sympathetic. No matter how much he disliked Sebastian, he still wanted Blaine to be happy.

"And I don't even know what happened." Blaine admitted in the end, shoving a better part of a chocolate muffin into his mouth. "I snapped at him even though I never do." His eyes went misty. "I felt this sudden rush of emotions." Kurt nodded his head in understanding. "I mean, his reaction didn't exactly help either." Ha added. "He seemed almost...indifferent to it."

"That's why you're...ugh...on a break?"

Blaine rolled his eyes, an amused smile ghosting over his face. "We're not on a break, per say." He said. "We're just...taking some time apart." He said. "It'll do us both some good."

Kurt wanted to say something supporting or something that maybe would make Blaine question Sebastian and their relationship even more. But he couldn't bring himself to make any positive comment and at the same time he found himself unable to sabotage something that his friend clearly cherished. So he said nothing and only watched as Blaine polished his plates. As predicted, he hadn't managed to eat everything but he sure as hell tried.

Then they decided to walk around Dalton for a bit, through the corridors that still seemed like a maze to Kurt. Blaine told him some historic details that Kurt didn't really care about but then they moved to the subject of Warblers. "The Warblers have some history of their own." Blaine said as they passed an old picture of a student sporting the signature uniform and looking proudly into the camera as a little yellow bird sat on his shoulder. "There was a long lineage of canaries that the Warblers took care of for many decades." He looked to Kurt with a smile. "The latest student to join the Warblers would be given the bird and care for it until there was a newer member."

Kurt looked at the photo and the little bird wishing that they still carried on with that tradition. "It sounds great. I'd love to take care of a canary. Why don't we carry on with this?"

Blaine chuckled looking into the distance. "We did for quite some time. Up until a year ago, actually."

"What happened?"

Blaine kept smiling. "Sebastian happened." Kurt tried not to give away how disappointed he felt that the story concerned the green-eyed boy. "When he got the bird, he decided that it was a fantastic idea to let it fly around for a bit." Despite everything Kurt smiled too. He could sense that it couldn't have ended in anything but a complete and utter disaster. "Of course Pavarotti, that was the bird's name, didn't stay in Seb's room and decided to roam the building instead."

"Oh, no." Kurt laughed as well.

Blaine kept looking at the picture, his eyes focused on the bird. Kurt could tell that this was a fond memory despite apparently being one that ended a decades-long tradition. "The bird somehow managed to fly into the headmaster's office and...well...polluted some important papers. Suffice to say, he banned any kind of animals, birds included, from the grounds, long traditions be damned."

Yeah, it was a funny story, Kurt had to admit. Even despite starring Sebastian. "And how did you two...you know, become a thing anyway?"

Blaine looked back at Kurt as they resumed their walk. "I was the one that gave him Pavarotti. I had him before Sebastian." Because of course he was.

"That's the most romantic meet-cute I've heard about." Kurt said honestly, not wanting to sound as bitter as he felt. If Blaine found out about his feelings it would be disastrous after all. But how could anyone in their right mind expect Kurt not to develop any romantic feelings for the boy strolling alongside him? He was perfect with his hazel eyes, gelled-down hair (that Kurt secretly dreamed the other boy would let go wild at least once so that he could see the curls hidden underneath) and dapper demeanor. He was the picture of perfection. No wonder he was taken.

Blaine gave him a smile that was slightly bitter. He regretted getting into a fight with his boyfriend. Kurt was only bringing the two of them closer, it seemed like. "Yeah, it is." Blaine agreed. "We took care of Pavarotti together really. And when he was made to get rid of him, we wrote millions complaints and all of that kind of brought us together, I guess."

Kurt nodded his head, loving their story and hating it at the same time. Then he got an idea and turned to Blaine. "Do you want to commit a crime?"

\---

Blaine seated himself on his bed as the other boy grabbed his laptop and then sat beside him. The hazel-eyed boy had to admit that it felt really nice to spend time with Kurt, one on one. He loved his other friends but with them they would always get into some shenanigans and this time he really wasn't in the mood for anything like that. And Sebastian, well, he missed him but he didn't want to be the first to reach out. He wanted, for once, his boyfriend to make the first step.

"What do you want to watch?" Kurt asked showing Blaine some files. "I have Spring Awakening, Heathers, Wicked – the original cast of course and Waitress."

"Nothing too depressing, please." Blaine asked. He wasn't in the mood for crying either. He finally felt a bit better, if not stuffed after the lunch he had served himself. He just wanted to unwind and relax a bit with his friend.

"Maybe Waitress?" Kurt proposed looking at Blaine. "I mean, it's not not depressing but I really like it."

Blaine already knew Spring Awakening by heart and he had seen Heathers once too while Waitress for the most part was alien to him. "Okay, then. Waitress it is."

Kurt smiled in excitement and put the show on. As Blaine watched it he quickly started feeling sleepy but he forced himself to stay awake for as long as he could, as the story was quite interesting. And as he watched it, scene after scene, he started realizing one thing but it was still mostly hidden under a thick fog of ignorance.

His symptoms resembled a pregnancy quite a lot.

How funny would it be if he actually was pregnant? The thought floated around his mind on the edge of consciousness as his eyelids closed and his head fell on Kurt's shoulder without him even knowing it. He didn't see the smile on Kurt's face either. Nor did he see the door opening and very angry Sebastian barging in before his voice finally woke him up, mere minutes after falling asleep.

"What the hell is this?"


	4. Chapter 4

The dinner with James Smythe went well. Or at least as well as Sebastian expected. Without Blaine at his side it was boring and the conversation was dry. Well, the other boy didn’t usually contribute much to it but he had that certain charm to him that made everyone he was around love him. Including Sebastian’s father.

Blaine had never looked too fond of those dinners but he had never expressed his dismay so openly and aggressively. He had always been polite, nice to everyone so that sudden outburst was worrying Sebastian. He wanted Blaine that he knew and loved, the one that was serious when necessary but one that also could live it up during parties. 

The silence was deafening. All throughout the dinner Sebastian kept checking his cell phone – making sure that there was no missed text or phone call from his boyfriend. But there was nothing, the picture of them together on his wallpaper kept staring back at him and reminding him of better times, like previous summer that they had spent in London with Sebastian’s cousins.

But Sebastian was fairly certain that it would all go back to the way it was. It always did after all. No matter how massive of a flight, Blaine would always end up making the phone call and apologizing, asking him to come back. Sebastian knew it would happen but he was losing his patience.

So instead of going home with his father after dinner Sebastian decided to go back to Dalton and try talking things through with his boyfriend. He thought of buying him some flowers or chocolates but in the end decided against it since, after all, it was Blaine that should feel bad and apologize, not the other way around. 

He pulled his car in his parking spot right in front of the main entrance (the only spot better than his belonged to the headmaster) and walked through the building thinking about what he was going to say. Sebastian knew that he wouldn’t apologize but he needed to say something. Maybe that he should have told Blaine about dinner earlier and not the day before when they had already made plans just for the two of them?

Well, Saturday was lost but Sunday could still be salvaged. They could do something nice. Sebastian could get them tickets for some spectacle. He nodded to himself. Yeah, that would work. They would enjoy some time together and everything would once again be fine. 

Sebastian flashed a smile at the guard who in turn nodded at him. He didn’t even need to show his identity card. Ever. Everyone knew who Sebastian Smythe was, after all. The son of James Smythe, the most generous benefactor of Dalton Academy. He was well-liked by the teachers because of that and popular with the students. It also meant that he could get away with pretty much anything he did.

He walked through the dormitory building, not even bothering to stop by his own room. Sebastian quickly found himself in front of Blaine’s and instead of knocking he gently pushed the door open, curious as to what his boyfriend could be doing.

A smile that had been on his face up to that point vanished the instant he saw Kurt Hummel sitting on Blaine’s bed with Sebastian’s boyfriend leaning against his body. His blood boiled at the sight and his hands clenched into fists. The picture of them together like that would have been bad enough on its own but then Hummel’s gaze fell on Blaine, his blue eyes locking on his sleeping form and then he smiled. But not the way a mere friend would smile at another friend because they had accidentally fallen asleep on them. No, Kurt was smiling at Blaine like he wanted him there. Sebastian wanted to punch that smile off his face.

“What the hell is this?” Sebastian asked in a loud voice making Kurt jump away from Blaine while the other boy opened his eyes and looked around sleepily until his gaze found Sebastian’s. 

“What?” Blaine asked looking blankly at Sebastian for a few seconds before he looked at Kurt and the green-eyed boy could pin-point the exact moment when the realization of how it all looked hit Blaine. “Oh, we were watching a show with Kurt.” He said innocently, a careful smile making its way onto his face. “He’s staying for the weekend too.”

Kurt was looking at him with a mixture of fear and something like a challenge maybe? Who does he think he is? Sebastian thought. He hadn’t liked Kurt ever since he found that his boyfriend had been helping him. It was nice, truly noble of Blaine to do that but why did he have to get so involved if there were other Warblers that could help him? 

And sometimes it seemed like Blaine was blind to Kurt’s lovesick gazes and sighs. But Sebastian wasn’t. He could clearly see what the intentions of the other boy were. And they were far from innocent. “It didn’t look like just watching a show.” Sebastian said, angrily, ready to grab Kurt by his shirt and throw him out. “You were sleeping on him.”

Blaine sighed looking at Kurt. “Thank you for today, Kurt. And sorry for...this.” He gestured at Sebastian which only angered him more. “But could you please leave now? We clearly need to talk.” 

Kurt quickly nodded his head closing the laptop. “It’s okay. I’ll see you Monday.” 

“Hey, I’m not done with you.” Sebastian said to Kurt as the boy grabbed the laptop and made a beeline for the door. However, before he could leave Sebastian grabbed his arm and made him look at him.

“Don’t touch me.” Kurt said in a low growl of someone that had dealt with things like that one too many times.

“Sebastian, leave him.” The green-eyed boy noted the warning in Blaine’s voice and he let go of Kurt.

“Stay away from my boyfriend.” Sebastian said at last, barely containing his anger. The hurt and fear in Kurt’s eyes sobered him up a bit though. He had gone too far. He shouldn’t have been so violent. He knew Kurt’s history and he could dislike the guy all he wanted but he didn’t deserve the kind of treatment that he had to endure at his old school.

Kurt just glared at him and left without another word. “What the hell was that for?” Blaine asked and once Sebastian saw the anger in his eyes he realized just how badly he had fucked up this time. 

Still, he felt like he had the moral ground here. “I feel like I should be the one asking that.” Sebastian said. “What were you doing with him?”

Blaine rolled his eyes. “Nothing, Sebastian. I wasn’t doing anything bad.” The boy ran his hand through his gelled hair that was coming undone. “I just was tired and fell asleep. That’s all. You need to calm down.”

Sebastian tried to. He took a couple of deep breaths and closed his eyes for a second. It didn’t do much. All he could see was that damn smile. “You can’t seriously be that blind, Blaine.” The shorter boy raised his eyebrows. “He has a crush on you.”

“Oh my God.” Blaine exclaimed shaking his head, an ironic smile forming on his lips. “Two gay guys can be just friends. Not everything has to be sexual.” He sighed. “And you’re the one to talk. You have gay friends.”

“It’s not the same.”

“Yeah, how so?”

“Don’t you see how he looks at you?” Sebastian asked, not really grasping how his boyfriend could be so oblivious. “If he could he would have taken your pants off right there and then!”

“I can’t believe you.” Blaine said. “He’s just grateful. I know the concept may be foreign to you since you rarely do anything selfless for anybody but this is what it is.” He paused for a moment. “Like it or not, we will stay friends.”

Sebastian didn’t know what to say to that. He wanted to find the right words to knock some sense into Blaine but he knew that at this point there was probably no use. Blaine was too worked up. Again. “I come here to make amends and this is what I find.” He said instead in a calmer voice. He was too damn tired of Blaine. “What do you want me to think?”

Blaine only shrugged and that hurt more than even the biggest insult ever could. “Maybe we need more time apart than I thought.”

Sebastian’s heart sank. “Are you...”

Blaine’s face softened as he locked his hazel eyes with Sebastian’s green ones. He held his gaze for a while before he finally spoke. “No, I’m not breaking up with you, Sebastian. I love you.”

“I love you too.” Sebastian rushed to reply. “What are you saying then?”

“That we both need time to cool down and think about things.” He said slowly, as if weighing every word. 

Sebastian didn’t want to agree. He was frustrated with Blaine and Kurt and the whole situation but he wanted to fix it now. And so he walked over to his boyfriend and took his hand. “How about we go to my room instead and talk things through now?” He said it in a low voice so that he was sure Blaine knew exactly what he meant.

But Blaine withdrew his hand. “No, Seb. We can’t, I meant what I said. I need time and space.”

Sebastian wanted to scoff but he held it in. “Whatever.” He said in the end and seeing as Blaine wouldn’t say anything else, he left not really knowing yet if he was aiming for his dorm or for his car.

\---

That night Kurt had nightmares. In the morning he didn’t remember much more than feeling scared but he had a pretty good idea what those dreams could have been about. The confrontation with Sebastian had been quite sobering for Kurt. The green-eyed boy had acted borderline psychotic but Kurt was pretty sure he might have crossed some line himself.

The next day Kurt wished more than anything that he could go back home and spend some time with his family but the long drive back and forth would have taken too much time for the trip to be worth it. So instead he opted for calling his father and then later Rachel. Talking to them made him feel a bit better but once the phone call was over and there was only silence accompanying him, the somber mood washed over him again.

He spent the better part of Sunday in bed with ear buds in his ears and his favorite Broadway songs playing on repeat. All the time he thought about how delusional he had been. How he had allowed a stupid crush to get so out of control. Yes, he had been not exactly subtle in running after Finn back in his freshman year despite him being taken but it had never been real. He had let himself foolishly daydream but that was just because he needed at least the fainest of hopes to keep going. Deep down, he had always known that Finn was as straight as they come.

Maybe he should back down and let Blaine and Sebastian be. He would be still friendly towards him but nothing more than that. 

Luckily Kurt didn’t stumble into Blaine in the cafeteria. He didn’t see Sebastian either. It was only late in the evening when he was contemplating if maybe he should go to sleep early when he heard a soft knock against his door. “Come in.” Kurt said hesitantly, sitting up on the bed and readying himself for what was to come. He hoped it wasn’t Sebastian coming there to beat him and show him where his place was. Fortunately, it was Blaine’s face that he saw once the door opened.

“Hi.” The boy said closing the door behind him. Kurt noted that this time Blaine wasn’t wearing his Dalton uniform but rather a gray sweater and a pair of jeans. Looking at him like that Kurt realized just how hard keeping his distance was going to be. 

“Hi.” Kurt said softly, not able to bring himself to smile. “What are you doing here? Isn’t Sebastian going to flip out if he finds out?” He couldn’t stop the words from escaping his lips. The boy knew he sounded bitter and defensive but he felt like he had the right to act this way. Even though Blaine had done nothing to deserve this kind of behavior from him. 

Blaine’s face fell and he ducked his head, not moving to sit next to Kurt. “I came to apologize for him.” The boy began softly. “Sebastian shouldn’t have acted so insane. Don’t worry about him. He can’t dictate who I am friends with.”

Kurt raised his eyebrows, his mood improving slightly. “He was a bit psycho.” 

“I know.” Blaine still wouldn’t meet Kurt’s gaze. “That’s why we’re not talking right now.”

“Oh,” Kurt let out not knowing what to make of it. “I’m sorry.” He said, not quite sure what he was apologizing for. “Do you want to talk about it?” And suddenly the idea of keeping his distance seemed ridiculous to Kurt and completely pointless.

“Not really.” Blaine said with a shake of his head. He looked sad, deflated and lifeless. Kurt wanted to give him a hug or do something else that would make his friend feel better but he wasn’t sure if that was what Blaine needed right now. “I just need to be alone for a while.” He said at last, giving Kurt a half-smile that was clearly supposed to make him feel better. “Will you be okay?”

Kurt blinked a few times, confused. “Me?”

Blaine shrugged. “You seemed pretty shaken up.”

“I’m okay.” Kurt assured him giving Blaine a smile that he feared looked as fake as Blaine’s.

“That’s good to hear.” Blaine told him. “I think I’m going to sleep.” He said. “I’m awfully tired.”

Kurt just nodded his head, his eyes focusing on Blaine’s cheeks that had faint tear tracks. “Okay.” He said. “See you tomorrow?” He asked hopefully.

Blaine smiled. “You bet.” 

\---

One song from the musical they had attempted to watch with Kurt still echoed in his mind. Well, it was a nice song. But there was a meaning behind the words that Blaine couldn’t stop thinking about. Especially when he stumbled upon another article about male pregnancy.

Surely he would shake his head and laugh at his own paranoia if the symptoms had subsided by now. But they didn’t and he didn’t feel like laughing anymore. Whatever stomach bug it could have been should be over by now. And it was making Blaine think that maybe there was more to it than it seemed at the beginning.

And so Sunday Blaine spent in the rabbit hole of various articles and statistics that told him that it wasn’t as uncommon anymore, that nearly every state in the US had at least one case. Blaine’s heart skipped a beat as he tried not to think about the implications. Surely, it wasn’t it. It was just a stupid assumption that his delirious mind was making up to keep him from thinking about what really was important.

Like the whole Sebastian and Kurt debacle. But he didn’t feel like thinking about that either. Still, it was better than pondering on things that were probably only his imagination playing tricks on him. And so Blaine decided to pay Kurt a visit and apologize for his boyfriend’s behavior. The other boy seemed mostly fine, save for the sadness in his blue eyes that usually sparkled with life and enthusiasm. 

As to his boyfriend, Blaine found himself typing a message to him quite a few times. Sometimes he apologized, other times the words were poisoned with anger and frustrations and once he just wrote that he missed him and that he was sorry. Blaine didn’t send either one of those texts and instead let himself just wallow in self-pity.

But once all the frustrations had been poured out, Blaine felt empty and the only thing on his mind was that impossible possibility. The only thing he knew for certain was that he needed to calm himself down, to prove to himself that he was just being paranoid. 

And so he planned at trip to the pharmacy the next day. One that wasn’t too far off so that he didn’t need to drag himself across town but also one that wasn’t too close in case he bumped into anybody he knew.

\---

Much to everybody’s surprise Blaine didn’t show up for the next rehearsal. Only Wes seemed to know that his friend wouldn’t participate. Without their front man there wasn’t really much that they could do but Wes, as their unofficial leader, still wouldn’t just give them a free afternoon and so he replaced Blaine for the time being and somehow they managed to rehearse backup vocals. 

Kurt would have thought that if Blaine was absent then he would surely be with Sebastian, but much to his surprise the green-eyed boy was there, at least physically. He seemed jaded and less into singing and dancing than usual. Seeing that Kurt felt conflicted, even more so than before. A part of him couldn’t help but think that maybe this was his chance to show Blaine how much he cared and how good of a boyfriend he would be, on the other hand however he was worried about him, worried about Blaine’s mental state.

He even sent a text message to Blaine but the other boy didn’t reply making him that much more worried. He stared at the device for some time, worried and confused. He just hoped that Blaine was okay.

\---

Blaine felt beyond ridiculous as he drove back to Dalton, painfully aware of the small box wrapped in a plastic bag in the backseat. He tried telling himself that it was more of a joke, something that he could laugh at with Sebastian in the future (once their problems were resolved). 

When he returned to his dorm room Wes was still out, most likely practicing with the other Warblers. Blaine sat down on his bed and took out the box. He looked at it for a moment, his heart beating fast. He tried not to think too much about what if, by some miracle, the test turned out to be positive but it was still somewhere in the back of his head.

What would Sebastian say? They hadn’t discussed having children yet. Blaine didn’t know what the other boy even thought of them in general. Would he be supportive or would he leave Blaine because it was too much trouble? What would Blaine’s parents say? They would be devastated, that was for sure. They were already disappointed in Cooper for choosing acting over some more practical profession and to have Blaine turn out not to be that perfect of a son either would break their hearts.

And what about Blaine? Did he even want a child? Would he go through with the pregnancy? He shook his head. Why was he even thinking about things that would probably not turn out to be true? He looked down at the box again, his hands shaking. He knew he needed to do this to calm his nerves. 

But Blaine found himself unable to do so. He just couldn’t will his feet to move so he stayed on the bed with the box in his hands until he remembered that Wes was coming back soon. If his best friend saw the box he would drag Blaine to the bathroom himself and make him take the test before asking million question all the while casting judgmental looks his way. 

So he hid the box in the drawer of his nightstand knowing that Wes respected privacy too much to ever go through his things for whatever reason. He felt bad enough about lying to him already. Wes had been skeptical when Blaine suddenly announced that he needed to go to the dentist but forgot about it but eventually didn’t ask any stupid questions.

Blaine was about to start doing homework or whatever else that would keep his mind occupied enough so that he didn’t think about the contents of his drawer, but he felt his cell phone buzz in his pocket. It was his mother.

The boy rolled his eyes knowing that she probably wanted to invite him and Sebastian for another dinner. Suffice to say, Blaine wasn’t in the mood for any kinds of social gatherings, especially if they included Sebastian. The boy picked up the phone anyway knowing that his mother would keep calling him until she switched to harassing Sebastian instead and that would be so much worse.

Of course it was a dinner invitation for the following day, and of course she wanted there Sebastian as well. Truth be told, Blaine was of the opinion that his parents preferred Sebastian’s company to his and if it were more appropriate they wouldn’t bother inviting Blaine at all.

Before Blaine could say a word, tell her that him and Sebastian were experiencing some issues right now, and really, Blaine wasn’t in the mood for family gatherings, everything was already settled and the phone call was over. The boy sighed wondering how to get out of that situation but then he thought about it more and realized that maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing after all. Maybe it would be good for him and Sebastian to spend some time together on neutral grounds. 

So instead of finding a plausible reason to cancel the dinner Blaine decided to go through with it. He knew that he could walk to Sebastian’s room and talk to him face-to-face but at the same time, he still wasn’t in the mood for that. Maybe it was strange that right after a fight Blaine sent a casual text asking Sebastian to join him and his parents for dinner but he did it anyway. And maybe the stranger thing was that Sebastian actually agreed, no questions asked.

And so the next day right after classes Blaine found himself walking towards Sebastian’s car in the parking lot. He didn’t know why but deep in his pocket, there was the box.


	5. Chapter 5

Blaine knew he was not acting like himself and he knew that as ignorant as his parents were, they could see that something was wrong. He kept fidgeting and picking at his food while hardly eating anything. He felt too nervous and sick to swallow any food, Blaine wanted to act normal, like everything was okay but the small box in his pocket was weighing down on him and he kept thinking about it. 

Sebastian was sitting next to him and eating happily, completely oblivious to the internal turmoils his boyfriend was going through. But Blaine was grateful for that because Sebastian was entertaining them with conversations and drawing attention away from him. 

“I need to go to the bathroom.” Blaine said suddenly silencing the table. His parents and Sebastian looked at him in question. He usually didn’t announce his physiological needs so openly. But he couldn’t stand the trivial conversations anymore, the easy smiles and laughter. Not while his whole world could be falling apart. 

Not waiting for any reaction from anybody, Blaine raised from his seat and walked to the bathroom upstairs, the one that was directly attached to his bedroom. He hoped that no one would pay that any mind. 

With shaking hands Blaine opened the box and read the instructions. His vision was blurry because of the tears in the corners of his eyes but the directions were pretty straight-forward so he had no trouble following them. Definitely the hardest part was waiting the recommended three minutes. 

Blaine sat on the closed toilet seat, his legs bouncing and cold shivers running through his body. He wrapped his arms around his torso and tried not to panic, The chances of him actually being able to get pregnant were so slim that they were basically non-existent. He had nothing to worry about. It was just a weird stomach bug that somehow heightened his smell and made him extra irritable.

“It’s going to be okay. You’re okay.” Blaine kept mumbling to himself, trying to rationalize everything. He would find a sad face on the stick, he would finally be able to let out a sigh of relief. He would rejoin his parents and boyfriend and laugh along with them and maybe soon he would tell Sebastian about this little scare and they would just laugh at it as well. 

Blaine glanced at the timer counting down the seconds on the screen of his cell phone. A minute left. Despite the low probability of it being anything more than him being paranoid he still felt scared and paralyzed with fear. He felt like throwing up but his legs seemed glued to the floor and so he sat there and stared straight ahead, at his expression in the mirror that looked just as terrified as he felt. He was ridiculously pale and he had dark circles underneath his eyes. Blaine looked like a wreck of a person. He hoped that in a couple of seconds he would go back to his old regular self that was carefree and happy.

The timer went off. Blaine swallowed hard. He glanced at the white stick siting on the edge of the sink. He didn’t want to look but he knew that he had to in order to calm himself down and reassure himself that everything was okay, that he was just being overdramatic. And so he reached for the damn thing and looked down at it.

For a second he thought that he must have done something wrong. Peed on it wrong or something. Because it couldn’t be real, it couldn’t be true. Or maybe the smiley face that was staring back at him meant something else. Blaine read the instructions again and as soon as he did so the stick fell out of his hands. 

He sat there for a moment longer before collecting everything and shoving it back into his pocket. He walked back downstairs and rejoined his family. They barely acknowledged him and carried on with another pointless conversation about Paris or London or another city that Sebastian wanted to drag Blaine to. 

Blaine didn’t listen. He pretended to, nodding every once in a while or laughing while internally he was falling apart, screaming and wishing that he could turn back time. No one noticed that anything was wrong with him. They must have assumed that he had diarrhea or something. 

The drive to the Anderson household had been ridiculously silent. The one back to Dalton was just as quiet but Blaine felt like someone was screaming at him. It was only when Sebastian parked his car in front of the school building that the silence was broken. 

The green-eyed boy gripped the stirring wheel with his hands even after the engine died. They both sat in their seats for a moment longer until Sebastian finally spoke. “Are we okay, Blaine?”

It felt like the boy was speaking to Blaine from behind a wall, or from under the sea or from other place that was too far away to hear. So he continued to sit motionlessly until he felt Sebastian’s hand on his knee. It was that gesture that made Blaine look into his, surprisingly, fearful eyes.

Blaine knew that were many issues that still needed to be addressed but he was just too damn tired and broken for that. So instead he did the one thing he was especially good at, maybe excellent even. He lied. “We’re fine.” He replied, a smile spreading over his face. “I was just too tired that day. You were right. It did look kind of weird.”

Sebastian raised his eyebrows as if Blaine’s words sounded too good to be true. Well, they were. “Does this mean that you believe me? That Kurt does everything to get into your pants?”

Blaine rolled his eyes. No matter how tired, he wouldn’t drag Kurt into their problems and blame it all on him, even if it was just pretending. “Please, Kurt’s fine. He doesn’t want anything to do with me like that.” He paused for a moment, looking deeply into his boyfriend’s eyes. “Can you just trust me, please?” 

Sebastian returned the gaze and for a moment it seemed like he was thinking hard about something, as if this was an issue even worth discussing. “I do.” He eventually said, much to Blaine’s relief. “Just be careful with him, okay?” He pressed.

Blaine resisted the urge to roll his eyes again. “Okay. I will.” He said with that same smile that was starting to hurt his face. 

The silence fell between them once more but this time it seemed a little less uncomfortable. Sebastian’s face relaxed and a familiar smirk made its presence. “So...if we’re okay...do you want to go back to my room?”

It was the last thing on Blaine’s mind. “I’m sorry. I’m tired. Another time, okay?”

Sebastian frowned, looking away, slightly hurt. “We haven’t done anything in forever.”

Well, apparently not forever.

“Please.” Blaine pressed, needing some space to think things through. 

Clearly Sebastian wasn’t in the mood for another fight either. “Okay.” He said at last and pressed a soft kiss against his boyfriend’s lips. After that they went to their separate dorm rooms.

When Blaine returned to his own, Wes was there, sitting at his desk and talking to his girlfriend on the phone. Usually, Blaine didn’t mind that but in that moment he wished he had a single dorm like Sebastian. He tried to ignore his friend and laid down on his bed, his gaze fixed on the ceiling above. 

Wes luckily was too preoccupied with Sylvia to notice the tears in his best friend’s eyes. Blaine stared at the off-white paint above, his thoughts running all over the place. He knew that he should really focus and think about what he was going to do next but his mind was blank. 

It didn’t feel real. He felt like he was falling into an abyss and there wasn’t anyone that would catch him. It was just him and that secret that was only supposed to be a joke. Now it was all real and he had no idea what to do, who to tell. For a second he pondered if maybe he should try talking to Wes. His best friend would surely ground him, tell him things that he needed to hear. But as he saw his goofy smile and blush coloring his cheeks, Blaine couldn’t bring himself to do it.

So instead he closed his eyes, letting the abyss devour him whole.

\---

Kurt didn’t know why Blaine was keeping his distance. He tried to get him to get a coffee with him twice throughout the week but he might as well have been talking to a wall. The other boy was clearly only present with his body. His mind was miles and miles away. Kurt only wished he knew where.

During the two remaining rehearsals of the week Sebastian and Blaine seemed closer again, their hands joined when they discussed the last details of their performance but Kurt could see that there was something off about him. He was always smiling but it was so obviously fake that he had no idea how everyone seemed to believe it, including Sebastian who was supposed to know Blaine best. 

One evening Kurt even decided to bring up the subject with his roommates. “Do you think that there’s something wrong with Blaine?” He asked while the two boys were busy with their respective homework. 

Jeff spoke up first. “Yup. Definitely some boyfriend drama.” He said casually.

Kurt raised his eyebrows. “Is this like something that’s usual?”

“Their relationship isn’t exactly “stable” per say.” Nick added turning away from his book to look at Kurt.

“But why won’t he say anything?”

Nick shrugged, a sad smile on his lips. “That’s just Blaine for you.”

“Wes usually deals with this kind of stuff.” Jeff said, his nose still deep in his book.

Kurt nodded his head, sad that it seemed like there wasn’t much he could do. But despite his friends’ words he decided to make an effort to try talking to Blaine and getting to the bottom of things. “Anyway, we were meaning to talk to you.” Jeff finally peeled himself off his book and looked at Kurt with an ominous smirk. “We wanted to invite you to a party!”

The blue-eyed boy raised his eyebrows. He wasn’t one for the parties, never had been but at the same time the idea did sound good. “Oh, don’t get your hopes up.” Nick said with a chuckle. “This is definitely not going to be a party.” He shared a look with Jeff. “As those are not allowed at Dalton.” He added. “It’s just going to be us. We’ll just talk, listen to some music and-”

“And get drunk and high.” Jeff cut in helpfully.

“Yeah, pretty much.”

Kurt liked his two roommates and so the idea didn’t seem half-bad to him. Yet, he remembered the promise he had made to his father. “I promised my dad that I would be come this weekend. I already stayed here last week.”

“Which obviously had nothing to do with the fact that Blaine also stayed at Dalton.” Jeff muttered, an evil spark dancing in his eyes. Kurt rolled his eyes but he could still feel the blush creep up on his cheeks. “If you stayed for such a bullshit of an excuse last time then you might as well stay now too.”

Kurt only smiled. He couldn’t argue with that logic.

\---

It wasn’t until Friday when Kurt was finally able to catch Blaine after the practice – which for once resembled a lot the ones back at McKinley because apparently Blaine was under-performing (as well as the rest of them) and so Wes felt the need to yell at all of them. This time Kurt didn’t bother with any pleasantries nor did he care that Sebastian was still in the earshot.

He grabbed Blaine’s arm before the shorter boy could go anywhere. “Hey, we need to talk.” That came out harsher than he intended but maybe it would have a positive effect. 

Blaine just looked at him blankly for a second before he gave Kurt that signature fake smile. “Oh, hi.” He was clearly doing his best to fool Kurt but he wasn’t going to let him do that. “What’s up?”

Luckily Sebastian didn’t as much as took a glance back at them before walking out of the room. “No, I am asking what is up.”

\---

Kurt looked way angrier than he had any right to be and Blaine really was not in the mood to deal with that on top of everything else. “I don’t know what you mean.” Blaine grabbed his satchel and swung it over his shoulder before trying to walk away. Kurt was quick to follow.

“You. This.” Kurt said clearly making an effort to look into his eyes but Blaine continued to look straight forward as he hurried through the hallways. “Why are you avoiding me?”

“I’m not avoiding you.” It wasn’t exactly a lie but no the whole truth either. The thing was that Blaine tried to avoid everyone in general and luckily no one seemed to be picking up on this. Well, apart from Kurt. Even Sebastian gave him the space he needed, clearly thinking that this was still about the fight. Well, maybe it was. If their relationship was in a better place then he would have probably told Sebastian right away. But it wasn’t.

“Don’t lie to me.” Kurt demanded. “You don’t have to tell me what’s going on. But you don’t seem fine. Just talk to anyone. Wes or Sebastian.” 

Blaine was truly amazed at how good Kurt was at reading him. It was almost scary how he could fool whoever he wanted, even his own boyfriend, but not him. It almost made Blaine want to utter the words to him…

I am pregnant and I don’t know what to do…

But it wouldn’t be right to tell Kurt first, the boy he had known for only a couple of weeks. It was Sebastian who should find out first and honestly, Blaine had trouble even thinking the words. He wasn’t sure if he’d be able to say them out loud. “I...I’ll be fine.” Why did he even bother? Kurt’s face only saddened at those words. “Please, don’t worry this pretty head of yours about little old me.” Blaine smiled pushing away some stray hair from Kurt’s forehead.

The boy seemed a bit taken a back by the gesture but he quickly recovered. “Well, someone should.”

It was heartwarming but at the same time Blaine couldn’t stand it. “I have to go.” If he stayed a second longer he would surely spill everything and the tears he had been holding in for days would finally fall. And once he started crying Blaine wasn’t sure if he would ever stop.

“We could talk over a coffee sometime?” Kurt asked, his voice slightly desperate.

“Yeah, sometime.” Blaine said with a smile. Yeah, he could agree to that. Sometime was somewhere well into the future. Maybe by then his problems would somehow have resolved themselves. 

“What about a party?” Kurt asked to which Blaine responded by raising his eyebrows. The blue-eyed boy never seemed like the party type to him. Seeing his expression Kurt rolled his eyes. “Okay, it’s not exactly a party. It’s me, Jeff and Nick getting drunk.” He said.

Despite everything Blaine found himself really smiling. He was happy that Kurt was clearly enjoying himself and making friends at Dalton. Spending time with the three of them like that seemed like exactly something that would lift his spirits, especially if alcohol was involved. But that was the problem. It wasn’t exactly like he could drink alcohol anymore. Well, technically he could but he knew he would hate himself for that later, no matter what he chose to do in the end.

“I’m sorry. I can’t.” Blaine said regretfully, wanting Kurt to understand that he really meant how sorry he felt. “I have some family plans this weekend.” Another lie. Soon enough Blaine wouldn’t be able to distinguish between the real world and the one built on his lies.

Kurt stared at him for a moment, clearly studying carefully his expression. Apparently this time it was good enough. “Okay.” He said at last, though there was a tint of a lie in his voice. “I just need to make sure that you know that you can always come to me.” Kurt said. “With anything. I will be there for you like you were for me.”

Blaine smiled again, unable to believe that he had a friend like that and hating himself for not being a better one himself. “Thank you.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like this one. It was one of the most enjoyable chapters to write.

Kurt still had no idea how he got talked into joining Jeff and Nick for their “party”. “Blaine really has been acting a little weird, hasn’t he?” Nick asked grabbing two bottles of expensive-looking wine from deep in the back of his closet. Kurt’s eyes widened slightly as he took a seat on the rug on the floor. “Don’t worry.” Nick winked at him seeing his face expression. “There’s still more if we feel like it.”

“Yeah, there’s something off about him.” Jeff said, his fingers rolling joints on the desk while upbeat music, the kind that Kurt usually didn’t listen to if he wasn’t forced to by Finn, was playing through the speakers. “Well, that’s what you get for dating Sebastian. Problems.”

“Yeah, it seems like there are plenty of them with Sebastian.” Kurt said despite himself while Nick handed him a plastic cup and sat down opposite him. 

Nick and Jeff shared a look and both smirked knowingly. “Kurt, do you need an intervention?” Jeff asked lighting up one joint and putting it in between his lips. “You have a bit of a crush on our little Blainey, don’t ya?”

Kurt could just feel his cheeks turning red as he looked away from the two sets of eyes that seemed to be drilling a hole in his head. “No, I don’t.” He said weakly, knowing full well that no one at this point would believe him.

Jeff chuckled as he sat down on the floor besides his two friends. He handed one joint to Nick who accepted it happily and another to Kurt. The boy hesitated looking at the thing as if it was going to jump at him and bite him. “Oh, come on.” Jeff said basically shoving the thing into his hand. “You need to loosen up a bit.” 

“You have a wine opener, don’t you?” Nick asked looking at Jeff.

The blonde rolled his eyes. “I thought you had it.” 

“My God.” Nick said looking sadly at the bottle. “What now?”

Jeff smirked. “Don’t worry, Nicky.” He said pulling himself up to his feet. “There are ways for that.” 

And so two minutes later, with the joint lit, Kurt found himself watching the two friends, dressed in their pajamas and trying to push the cork into the bottle with Jeff’s toothbrush while he wondered if it wasn’t too late to run away.

\---

“How awesome would it be if Blaine broke up with Sebastian and you guys got married?” Jeff wondered, sunglasses obscuring his eyes, as he laid on the floor and with his legs propped up on the chair. “Just think about how cute your babies would be!”

Kurt laughed at that nodding his head. “That would be great.” He replied not even caring that they knew about his not-so-little crush on their front man. “But one of us would have to be able to get pregnant.”

“Maybe one of you can!” Nick said in excitement, “How awesome would that be?” He said pouring himself another cup of wine. “You want more?” He asked Kurt to which he nodded eagerly and took a sip as soon as his cup was once again full. “There are tests for that. You ever thought of it?”

“Not really.” Kurt admitted. “The chance is like...one in a million or something.”

Nick nodded. “But still. Maybe you’ll be the lucky one.” 

“I will get tested.” Kurt decided choosing to ignore that a test like that was more expensive that Dalton’s yearly tuition. “And then we can make babies with Blaine once I get rid of Sebastian somehow.”

“We could...like...murder him. I know people.” Jeff mused, 

Nick shook his head. “What people? Your brother’s friend? He was just arrested once. And for public urination.” 

Jeff waved him off. “I bet he met some assassin in there. Must have. There are lots of them.” He nodded his head, as if agreeing with himself. “Do you have an idea how many people die every second? Like...a lot.”

Kurt couldn’t help but laugh out loud to the point that his stomach hurt. It was only Nick’s shushing that silenced him. He was clearly the most sober out of the three of them. “I thought you were friends with Sebastian.” Kurt pointed out taking another sip of his wine which he didn’t know if he liked or not. But it did have a nice kick. He wasn’t really used to drinking big quantities of alcohol or smoking anything in general and he knew that his lack of expertise in this area was showing,

“We are friends with Sebastian.” Nick said also taking a sip of the wine, followed by a drug from the joint. “Within reason.”

“He’s a jerk.” Jeff said taking a drug and kind of dancing with his arms completely off-beat to some 80’ song that was playing through Nick’s fancy speaker. “He thinks he’s better than all of us because his rich daddy could buy all of our rich daddies combined.”

“He can get away with anything.” Nick agreed. “And he kind of slacks on the team. He’s in it just to have it on his college application.” 

“Disgusting.” Jeff commented, still dancing and still wearing the sunglasses.

“He must be a pretty bad boyfriend then? If we want to break them up?” Kurt wondered hopefully. He had been at Dalton for two weeks and yet he still didn’t know much about Sebastian other that the other boy had a very visible dislike for him. During practices he didn’t speak much and only kept a possessive arm around Blaine’s shoulders which irritated him to no end. 

Jeff and Nick shared a look. “No.”

“I don’t think so.”

Kurt’s easy smile vanished. “How? If he’s a jerk.”

Nick shrugged. “Their relationship being unstable is nothing new. All things considered, Blaine seems pretty happy with him. It’s just now that something’s weird about Blaine. About them both really.”

“And he’s a good kisser.” Jeff added.

“And how would you know that? Does Blaine confess his kissing experiences to you?” Kurt questioned, amused with his friends. 

“No.” Jeff chuckled. “I’ve had that experience myself, thank you very much.”

“What? Aren’t you straight?”

Jeff laughed again lifting his sunglasses with his index finger so that he could look properly at his friend. “You know, I am of the opinion that everyone’s a little bi given the right circumstances. But that’s beside the point. We often play spin the bottle during our parties at Luke’s house and since there aren’t any girls around we just satisfy ourselves with each other.” Jeff said. “Hell, even if there are girls we end up making out with each other more often than not.”

Nick chuckled refilling his cup once more. “True.” He agreed.

Kurt closed his eyes for a second, not able to believe that people open-minded like that truly existed. It felt like a fairy tale. He hoped he would get to attend their party once another one rolled around. He let his fantasies go wild as he imagined the loud music, the drinks and the spinning bottle landing on Blaine and him. Then they would kiss, the fireworks would go out and Blaine would realize that they were destined for each other. 

“Anyway, what do you think is wrong with Blaine?” Nick asked pulling Kurt out of his thoughts. “He’s weirdly irritable and he doesn’t really seem into the performances anymore. It’s really not like him.”

“He loves performing.” Kurt agreed. Maybe he hadn’t known Blaine for all that long but if there was one thing that he knew about him for certain it was that the other boy would give his life for music. 

“It’s probably Sebastian nagging him about going to Europe again.” Jeff concluded. “He keeps asking and asking but Blaine only ever agrees during school breaks.”

“Wow.” Kurt let out having to take another sip to stomach that. “He really does have lots of money.”

“More than that.” Jeff said. “Or maybe it’s his parents. They are always on his case about wanting to make a career out of music. It’s one or the other.”

Kurt opened his mouth to say something but he quickly closed it again. He didn’t know that Blaine had problems with his parents. He always pictured them as maybe a little distant but overall accepting people.

Instead of saying anything Kurt downed the rest of his wine and nodded at Nick. “Another.”

But just as Nick was about to pour Kurt some more wine they heard knocking on their door. “Shit.” Nick mumbled exchanging looks with Jeff. 

The blonde looked at his cell phone. “It’s 2 AM.” He said in a whisper. “Maybe it’s just...Blaine...or Wes...or whoever wanting to join in on the fun?”

“They all went home for the weekend, dummy.” Another knock on the door, this one sounding more aggressive. “Shit. Shit. Shit.” He kept mumbling to himself looking at the door in panic. “Hide that.” He nodded at Jeff’s joint while he hid the bottles under his bed. 

Jeff threw away the sunglasses and put the joint into the drawer of his nightstand while Nick turned off the music. Kurt watched the two boys with wide eyes, feeling the panic creep up on him as well, which was probably amplified by the alcohol and other stuff buzzing through his body. He tried to pull himself up to his feet but he was wobbly. 

Nick helped him up and sat him on the bed while Jeff struggled to get up himself. Once they were both dealt with and looking semi-presentable Nick took a look around the room while the third round of knocking echoed through the dorm. “Open up, boys.” It was Mr. Kowalski, the night guard that made sure that the students weren’t doing exactly what the three of them had been doing for the past couple of hours.

Nick straightened out his pajamas, took a deep breath and plastered a very convincing fake smile onto his face before unlocking the door. “Good evening, Mr. Kowalski.” The boy greeted him politely, no trace of fear in his voice. “Can we help you?”

Mr. Kowalski was an older man with wrinkled face, tired eyes and an impressive mustache. He looked half-awake, as if he had been sleeping and only recently woke up. He scanned the room, his gaze landing on each of them. “There has been a complaint.” He said. “Apparently you boys are having a party. Is that true?”

Nick chuckled. It sounded natural for the most part but Kurt could hear a tint of distress. “Does this look like we’re having a party?” Nick said gesturing at the room and the boys clad in their pajamas. “And there are no girls! Can there be a good party without any girls, Garrett?”

“It’s Mr. Kowalski to you, Nicolas.” The man said sternly. “You know the rules.” He said taking out a breathalyzer. “Who’s first?”

Jeff sighed dropping his facade. “Ugh, shit.”

\---

Kurt had seen headmaster Johnson in person just once, when he was first transferring. He had been very nice and helpful, assuring Kurt’s father that no one would harm his son there and that the education was top-notch. He kept smiling all the while.

Now however the situation couldn’t be more different. Kurt, Nick and Jeff were sitting opposite the headmaster’s desk with their heads ducked in shame and sorrow. The man did not have a pleasant smile on his face and instead kept vexing them with his eyes. “Do you have something to say for yourselves, boys?” The headmaster asked calmly but his voice was cold and cut through the air like a razor blade.

Kurt glanced at his friends who seemed beyond embarrassed. He didn’t remember ever seeing them like that. “We’re sorry, principal Johnson.” Nick finally spoke up, as per usual trying to be the responsible one. “We don’t know what came over us.”

The headmaster didn’t seem touched by the boy’s words. “Are you expecting me to believe that it’s the first time something like that happened?”

“Yes?” Nick said hesitantly. 

Then the man turned to look at Kurt. As soon as their eyes locked the boy felt like hiding under the desk or running through the door. “And you, Mr. Hummel. It’s only your third week at Dalton Academy.” He shook his head fiddling with his pen. “And already something like that. I have to admit, after reading stellar reports from your previous school, I am disappointed.” 

Kurt swallowed hard feeling his whole body shake with fear. “Can we be expelled?” He asked weakly. He could feel tears coming in and threatening to fall but he did his best to hide his feelings even though his was fairly certain that his quivering lip gave everything away.

The headmaster’s gaze traced over the three of them once more. “Let’s start with a week-long suspension.” He said scribbling something on a piece of paper. “I know that some of you are a long way away from home so you are welcome to stay at your dorm but you are banned from all activities and you should expect controls every night.” He paused for a moment. “But the expulsion is not out of the question yet.” His voice became a bit softer but not by much. He was still mad at them. “You are all excellent students but I will have to call in the council and we will decide then what to do with you. My secretary will keep you informed.”

The boys all nodded their heads before leaving the headmaster’s office. “We’re so fucked.” Jeff said once they were out. He ran his hand through his blond hair and loosened up his tie as it was his way of rebelling. 

Kurt leaned his back against the wall. He felt dizzy and not just because he was slightly hungover. He could see his whole life tumbling down in front of his eyes. His father and Carole had sacrificed so much for him to be able to attend Dalton Academy and now he was wasting it. Not only their money would have been for nothing but also Kurt would have to go back to McKinley and face Karofsky. 

“Hey, you okay?” Nick asked placing a comforting hand on Kurt’s shoulder. 

“No, I’m not.” Kurt admitted. The first tear started rolling down his cheek but he quickly wiped it away. “What will I do if I get expelled? I don’t want to go back.” He said miserably feeling himself fall apart. “Why did I even let you talk me into this?”

“Well, it’s not like you didn’t have fun.” Jeff said, clearly mad at the whole world. 

“Jeff, it’s not helping.” Nick said glaring at his best friend. “We’ll fix this. Don’t worry.” He assured the crying boy.

“How?” Kurt asked, eager to grab onto any shred of hope he could find.

Nick shared a look with Jeff. “You’re not going to like this.” Jeff said clearly knowing what his friend was talking about. 

“What?” Kurt asked, not caring what it was as long as it would spear him from disappointing his father.

“We’ll have to suck up to Sebastian.” Once the words left Nick’s mouth, he looked like he was dead inside, like it was the last thing that he wanted to do. 

Kurt wanted to scream. The one person that could help them hated him and the sentiment was very much mutual. But if it was the only way, Kurt would have to swallow his pride and ask Sebastian for help.

\---

Blaine wanted to laugh and he would if his situation wasn’t as awful as it currently was. He kept staring at Kurt in utter shock, not quite able to believe that his friend had been caught drinking and smoking illegal substances (at least illegal for people their age). But then again, as Blaine looked at Jeff and Nick, he realized that they were exactly the kind of people that would drag Kurt into something like that.

“Will you help us?” Kurt asked from his position on Wes’ bed. The boy wasn’t there. Otherwise they wouldn’t be having that conversation as Wes would quite literally wipe their asses. “I can’t be expelled.” Kurt kept looking at him pleadingly, obviously fully aware of how well it was working on Blaine.

He was angry at his friends for adding another problem to his list of already existing ones. Blaine had already enough on his plate to keep himself awake at night. On top of that, things between him and Sebastian were difficult enough and Blaine didn’t want to make it even worse, especially now that his boyfriend still did not know the most crucial piece of information.

Blaine did not have the time nor the energy to deal with the consequences of his friends’ reckless actions on top of everything else that was going on. He wanted to say no. To tell them to deal with it themselves and maybe for once learn from their mistakes. But when he looked at Kurt’s sorrow-riddled face he knew he couldn’t just leave him to fend for himself. Kurt was safe there and he couldn’t go back to McKinley. 

“I’ll try talking to him.” Blaine said tiredly shoving his hands into his pockets. He wanted them gone. He wanted to wallow in his self-pity in peace and maybe try to come up with a way to tell Sebastian about the baby. “But I don’t know if it’ll work. We’re working through some things right now.” Blaine admitted.

His friends exchanged looks. “Can we help somehow?” Jeff asked.

“Nah,” Blaine waved him off. “Don’t worry about it. We’ll be fine.” He tried to smile. He was good at pretending to be something others wanted him to be but even that these days wasn’t as convincing as before. He was too damn tired. 

“Thank you, Blaine.” Kurt said with a soft smile. “It means so much to me. To us.”

“I’m not making any promises.” Blaine said. Sebastian was usually quite cooperative when it came to those things but Blaine didn’t know much anymore these days. “I’ll try my best though.”

Soon after that the three roommates exited Blaine’s dorm leaving the boy once again alone with his thoughts. 

\---

Sebastian smirked to himself as he listened to Blaine trail off about Nick, Jeff and Kurt getting into trouble and needing his help. This was truly delightful. Kurt, holier-than-thou, Hummel had been caught drinking alcohol and smoking weed on the premises of Dalton Academy. This truly couldn’t get any better than that. 

Wouldn’t it be amazing to just let Hummel get expelled and have him out of his hair? Sebastian wondered as he watched his boyfriend pace his single dorm room back and forth and make arguments as to why Sebastian should talk to his father and ask him to convince the headmaster to let his friends stay.

Sebastian didn’t have anything against Hummel, per say. But the lovey-dovey eyes he kept making at Blaine were driving Sebastian crazy. The boy clearly had the facade of a lost boy down and thought it was cute. And then there was the whole thing with Blaine and Hummel cuddling that had not helped their relationship. Sebastian knew what Kurt wanted from Blaine and he wouldn’t let that happen. But he needed to be smart about this.

If he just let his nemesis get expelled now, he wouldn’t hear the end of it from Blaine and his boyfriend had been emotional enough as it was lately. But Sebastian wasn’t stupid. He had a carefully devised plan that would keep Kurt in line while still staying at Dalton. Sebastian found his voice quite annoying but he knew that with it they had a better chance of winning their competitions. 

If he helped Kurt now, it would mean that the other boy would owe him one. He would mind his own business and Sebastian would finally not have to worry about him getting any ideas. Not that Kurt was any competition for him but it was still wise to keep him at bay. Blaine was too naive to notice any nefarious intentions. 

“...and I’m really worried about him.” Blaine kept going on. “I basically promised him heaven on earth in here. I can’t let him go back to McKinley.”

Sebastian had no idea why Blaine cared so much about a kid he barely knew. Well, he did have an idea. His boyfriend probably saw himself in him from a year ago. “He fucked up.” Sebastian pointed out, choosing to omit the fact that it was him that had told Mr. Kowalski about their party. “You shouldn’t feel responsible for him being stupid.”

Blaine sighed. “Fine. Don’t do it for Kurt. Do it for Nick and Jeff. They’re your friends too, aren’t they?”

Sebastian rolled his eyes. They were alright but he wouldn’t call them friends, not exactly. But what could he do when Blaine kept looking at him with those puppy eyes that he could hardly ever resist? “Fine.” He said standing up and walking over to his boyfriend. “But I’m not doing it for either of them.” He kissed Blaine softly. “I’m doing it for you.”

\---

“Please, stop crying. I can’t stand it.” Jeff complained, the hood of his jumper over his head as he played with a rubber ball, bouncing it against the wall.

“I’m not crying.” Kurt said harshly curled up on the bed and hugging his pillow. The tears weren’t falling anymore but his cheeks were still wet and his eyes were tired. He knew it was hopeless. There was no way in hell that Sebastian would ever help him. Jeff and Nick? Maybe. But him? Definitely not.

The boy kept staring at his cell phone and waiting for his father to call him and tell him how disappointed he was that Kurt would waste their money like that. He knew Burt loved him and all that but he would not go easy on him. 

“Let’s just all remain calm, okay?” Nick emerged from the bathroom, his hair wet, and sat down by his desk. “If I were you I would start working on this week’s assignments because next week you’ll be crying if you continue your pity party.” He said opening his laptop. 

Jeff threw the ball at Nick who easily dodged it. “Don’t worry, Nicky.” He said. “I’m just enjoying some well-deserved free time.”

“Well, don’t come crying to me when you’re failing English again.” Nick said. “And Wes. He’s going to kill us for missing so many rehearsals right before Sectionals.” Then he turned to Kurt who barely had his eyes open. “Don’t worry about getting kicked out, Kurt. Worry about falling behind.”

Kurt only groaned burying his face deeper into his pillow so that he could hide from the rest of the world. He just wanted to already know whether he would go or stay.

There was one short and rather aggressive knock on the door but before either one of the boys could react it opened and Sebastian Smythe waltzed in, hands deep in his pockets and smug look on his face. Kurt immediately sat up on the bed and wiped away any remaining tears from his face before running his hand through his hair. He didn’t want Sebastian of all people to see him so pathetic and have a reason to laugh at him behind his back.

The three roommates all looked expectantly at Sebastian who of course couldn’t say what he wanted to say right away. “And?” Nick asked breaking the silence.

“It’s been dealt with.” He said with a shrug. “No need to fall to my feet and thank me.”

Nick stood up from the chair and gave Sebastian a hug, much to the other boy’s surprise, if the slightly uncomfortable expression on his face was anything to go by. He patted Nick’s back awkwardly. “Thank you so much, Seb.”

“Couldn’t have you missing on the team.” Sebastian said with a shrug. 

Kurt finally could let out a long sigh of relief. Sebastian solving their problem wasn’t an ideal situation but it was still much better than getting expelled. But then Sebastian turned towards him and the blood in Kurt’s veins seemed to freeze. “Can we talk for a minute, Kurt?” He asked making him regret ever asking Blaine for help. “Outside?”

The boy swallowed hard. He didn’t want to be alone with Sebastian, especially after their little confrontation the other week, but after his favor Kurt felt like he was in no position to decline him. “Sure.” He said confidently despite knowing full well that he looked like a mess. Sebastian didn’t need to know about Kurt’s feelings regarding him.

They walked out of the dorm and Kurt closed the door behind them. “Thanks.” Kurt said crossing his arms over his chest. “I really appreciate it.” 

But Sebastian didn’t seem impressed looking down on him as if he were some mere peasant, there to only entertain him. “Let me be honest with you, Kurt.” Sebastian said in a rather menacing voice. “I don’t like you.”

Kurt rolled his eyes. “Well, isn’t that a surprise.” He barely stopped himself from saying that the feeling was very much mutual. 

“And I don’t like the way you keep looking at my boyfriend.” Sebastian carried on choosing to ignore Kurt’s remark. The shorter boy could feel his cheeks heating up. Sebastian knew about his crush. Because of course he did.

“Just tell me what you want from me.” Kurt said deciding that it was best to just get straight to the point.

Sebastian looked way too pleased with himself. “The bottom line being, you owe me now.”

Kurt rolled his eyes once again. “I figured that much.”

“Do you think it was easy for me to ask my father to convince the headmaster to let you stay?” Kurt was getting sick of it. Maybe getting kicked out would have been better after all. “No, it was not. But I did it anyway, For Blaine.”

“What do you want, Sebastian?”

“To keep your distance.” Sebastian said with a smile that looked like it belonged on a devil. “Leave him alone or I’ll tell him about your silly crush and get you expelled.” The smirk wouldn’t come off his face and Kurt just dreamed about punching or slapping it away. But he contained himself and resolved to only clenching his palms into fists and making an angry face. “Do we have a deal?”

Kurt really wanted to decline him, to keep his pride and leave Dalton if necessary. But it was one of the greatest high schools in the area, he loved being a Warbler and he loved not having to look both ways in search of a bully before entering a hallway. He couldn’t leave.

“Yes.” He said feeling like the biggest of losers. “I will keep my distance.” 

Sebastian’s smirk turned into a full-blown grin. “Well, I didn’t think it would be that easy.” He paused for a moment, the smile fading just a little. “Just don’t test me. I get angry pretty easily.”

Kurt just nodded his head and watched as Sebastian walked away, the sound of his footsteps fading away once he turned the corner. Yet, Kurt stood there for a moment longer, listening to his heart softly breaking instead.


	7. Chapter 7

They were less than a week away from Sectionals and Blaine had lost all the passion for performing. No matter what he did his heart just wasn't into it. Then again, there were other important things to worry about and the symptoms of what was wrong with him hadn't magically disappeared either.

He still couldn't bring himself to properly think about what that positive test result meant to him. But he knew that he needed to start considering it. And tell Sebastian. That was definitely the thing that was on top of his priority list. He tried to reason with himself against the fears and uncertainty. Blaine kept telling himself that once his boyfriend knew everything would be easier.

And so one evening he walked to Sebastian's dorm room with the positive test hidden in his pocket. Blaine usually didn't knock when he visited him but this time it felt necessary. "In." Was all he heard from Sebastian before Blaine entered the room.

When the other boy noticed that it was him his face lit up. It hadn't been usual occurrence for Blaine to visit him like that recently. Sebastian was lying on his bed with an open book in his lap. "Oh, hi." He greeted Blaine, a smirk appearing on his face. "Fancy seeing you here." Blaine almost rolled his eyes seeing the playful glint in his boyfriend's eyes. There was obviously just one thing on his mind.

"We need to talk about something." Blaine said, barely able to hold Sebastian's gaze. Without an invitation he walked across the room and sat down on the chair by the desk, instead of sitting next to Sebastian on the bed. He felt like he needed to distance himself from the other boy during this conversation.

"Yeah?" Sebastian asked, the playful smirk now gone. Clearly he could sense that it wouldn't be exactly a pleasant conversation. He put the book away and sat up more straight.

Blaine took a deep breath looking down at his hands that weren't shaking only because he had them pressed against his thighs. How was he even supposed to start a conversation like that? What words were right to describe the situation? Blaine wasn't even sure how familiar his boyfriend was with the concept of male pregnancy. What if he wouldn't even believe that Blaine was telling the truth?

"What is it, Blaine?" It was only when Sebastian spoke that Blaine realized that he had been silently staring into space for the last thirty seconds. "You're not breaking up with me, are you?" Blaine could hardly ever see this side of Sebastian. His eyes were wide open and his lips pressed in a straight line. He was actually scared.

"No, of course I'm not." Blaine assured him. He reached across the space between his chair and the bed and grabbed Sebastian's hand. "The thing is..." It felt like his tongue didn't work properly or the words that needed to be said were locked somewhere in the depths of his mind. "So you noticed how I've been irritable recently?" Sebastian made a confused face before nodding his head. "I haven't been feeling that great physically either." He paused searching for something in Sebastian's eyes that he wasn't sure he would find there. "Turns out there might be a reason for that."

He hoped Sebastian would somehow get the hint and Blaine wouldn't be forced to go through with saying those words. "And? What would that be?" Blaine frowned. Sebastian sounded slightly annoyed, as if whatever it was that his boyfriend was going to say wouldn't be of great importance. "Are you depressed or something?"

Blaine couldn't listen to this. "I think I'm pregnant." He said instead, the letters barely coming together and creating the words. Once the secret was out Blaine felt empty. Like something was supposed to change but nothing actually did.

"What?" Sebastian just cringed before rolling his eyes and shaking his head. "Oh my God. You've read all those stupid articles about male pregnancy, haven't you?" Blaine had prepared himself for many different reactions from Sebastian but a complete dismissal wasn't one of them. "Do you know how slim the chances actually are?" He questioned dropping Blaine's hand. "Are you bored or something?"

"They are not that slim." Blaine said through gritted teeth. He was seeing red. Hands shaking, not from fear but rather from anger and pure disbelief, Blaine pulled the white stick out of his pocket and tossed it at Sebastian.

The boy caught it, clearly more out of instinct, and made a disgusted face before throwing it away. "You actually peed on this thing?"

"I did." Blaine spat at him. "And it's positive."

Sebastian leaned over and glanced at the pregnancy test without touching it. Blaine saw something flash across his face but it was gone in an instant. "It must be a false positive then." He concluded with a shrug. "You can't seriously believe that you are pregnant?"

Blaine thought about it for a moment. Despite the anger he considered his boyfriend's words. What if he was actually right and Blaine was blowing the whole thing out of proportions? A wave of relief washed over him as he realized how ridiculous he had been acting. Male pregnancy was still quite uncommon after all. "Maybe you're right." Blaine agreed at last with a shrug. "But maybe you're wrong. I need to see the doctor one way or another, We might as well check it."

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "Fine. If that puts an end to it." He wasn't exactly sure if his boyfriend was talking about putting an end to Blaine's paranoia or all of their problems. The latter was not that easy to solve, Blaine feared. "I'll call someone." He promised.

\---

Blaine felt bizarre sitting in the waiting area of the local clinic. With Sebastian's connections he had hoped to get in touch with someone in this field or at least a regular ob/gyn. Instead, Sebastian had dragged him to a regular doctor, only to make a blood test. One of Sebastian's cousins that was a doctor was then supposed to take a look at the results.

They sat in the busy waiting area, both in their Dalton uniforms. Blaine felt completely out of place with all the people looking at them, clearly curious about their fancy clothes. Meanwhile Sebastian didn't seem to be fazed at all, scrolling through facebook on his phone and not saying anything to Blaine.

The boy knew that it wouldn't be exactly the wisest of decisions for them to hold hands in public but he still wished that Sebastian would at least offer him some kind of comfort. Instead Blaine felt like they were miles away despite sitting right next to each other.

A few moments later Blaine was called in and the nurse took his blood. Soon after that they were back in Sebastian's car. "Hopefully that will make you feel better." Sebastian said starting the engine and pulling out of the parking lot. Blaine felt like those words were supposed to be reassuring. They weren't.

Blaine didn't know if he believed that the result could really be positive or if he was by now convinced that it was all in his head. He was tired and that was all Blaine knew. He leaned his head against the cool glass of the window and closed his eyes. He just hoped that once they knew everything for sure, they could work on their relationship, whatever the result ended up being.

\---

Kurt tried to relax himself a bit, to take a step back and watch the events unfold – no matter how hard that was. He could see that Blaine was struggling, that he was still clearly not being himself but Sebastian's spiteful words kept echoing in his head. He tried to remind himself that Blaine was strong and that he had other friends to look out for him.

But still, how was he supposed to ignore the obvious shift in Blaine's behavior? If before he had only looked tired and mildly annoyed with the whole world, now he seemed completely out of it. Like whatever Wes was saying during the last practice before Sectionals didn't even matter to him.

"I don't know what it is with you, Blaine." Wes said to Blaine at the end when the rest of them were leaving the commons. The other boy had his eyes fixed on something behind Wes' head. "If you'd at least look at me when I'm speaking."

It looked like it took a lot of physical strength out of Blaine to lock his eyes with his friend's. The room was now empty, safe for the two boys and Kurt lurking in the doorway. "I'm just tired, okay? Drop it, would you? I will do my best during the performance. Don't worry about it."

"I'm starting to think that your best might not be enough." Wes said, his voice now softer. He sounded almost resigned, as if all hope of them winning was lost. "If I had more time I'd replace you with someone else in a heartbeat. I just wanted you to be aware of that."

Blaine looked so done with this that Kurt almost didn't recognize him. "And how is that supposed to make me feel any better?"

Wes's shoulders slumped. "If we lose it will be your fault. Maybe this will motivate you." And with that the unofficial head Warbler left passing Kurt without even glancing at him.

Kurt hesitated. He should be careful. If Sebastian saw him talk to Blaine he could get him kicked out in a matter of hours, probably. But he looked at Blaine still sitting on the couch and staring blankly into the distance. He needed someone to talk and Sebastian wasn't around for that.

There wasn't really much to think about. Kurt walked back into the room, slowly approaching Blaine. Silently, he sat down next to him and just stayed there. If Blaine wanted to talk, he'd be there to listen. If he didn't, Kurt would just be there.

Much to Kurt's surprise, Blaine started speaking. "The whole competition seems like such a joke right now." He said, his voice tinted by a sardonic note. Kurt wanted to say something but before he could do that Blaine continued, the words quickly falling out of his lips, as if he had been holding them in for days. "It should feel important to me, you know? It is important. There might be some scouts or something and they could notice me. Still, I just can't bring myself to care."

Seeing as Blaine needed to let it all out, Kurt only nodded his head in understanding. It seemed like some kind of breakthrough for him.

"There are so many things that are wrong right now." Blaine continued, his gaze now fixed on his hands. "My parents expect of me God knows what, the Warblers think I'm make or break for them, my relationship is falling apart. My own boyfriend doesn't notice that I just can't handle it all anymore. He doesn't even take me seriously. And...and then there's..." He trailed off, his eyes finally darting to Kurt, as if he didn't know if he could confide in him.

Kurt grabbed Blaine's hand not even caring what Sebastian would think if he saw them like that. "You can tell me anything, Blaine. No matter how bad you may think it is. I won't judge. Well, knowing me I probably will judge the hell out of you, but I'll keep that to myself." Kurt gave him a little smile hoping that it would lighten the mood slightly.

It seemed to work, if only enough to make Blaine's eyes soften as he leaned in, his lower lip trembling and gaze darting to the side. "I think I may be pregnant, Kurt."

\---

As soon as Blaine said it, he regretted it. Why should he bother Kurt with his problems? He would probably think that it was some kind of joke, just like Sebastian did. But instead, Kurt's hold on his hand only tightened. "Does anyone else know?" The boy asked softly.

"Only Sebastian." Blaine said. "But he thinks it's a joke. That I'm bored or something."

Kurt was silent for a moment, as if processing what he had just learned. "Is this confirmed or…?"

"If you count a positive pregnancy test as a confirmation." Blaine said with a shrug. "I don't know. Maybe I am actually going insane. I had a blood work done. We're waiting for the results." Kurt nodded his head but stayed silent. "What about you? Don't you think that I'm making the whole thing up?"

Kurt only rolled his eyes at that. "I don't think you are capable of something like that." He said. "I don't know if you're really pregnant but it is possible. You have every right to be worried and get checked."

Blaine looked away. "Well, Sebastian doesn't seem to share the sentiment." He said bitterly thinking over Sebastian's dismissive words in his head.

Kurt was silent for a moment looking at Blaine in a way that he couldn't decipher. "Why do you even bother with him, Blaine?" He asked at last, his voice soft, as if he was afraid that he was crossing a line. "If he treats you like that." He added.

"I love him." Blaine said but his voice held no conviction, no force or meaning behind the words. As if it was just a phrase that he had rehearsed to perfection. "And isn't love worth fighting for?" He didn't even know if the question was directed at Kurt or rather at himself. But he was a romantic at heart. If there was something he still believed in, it was that love could conquer all.

Kurt was looking at him with what looked to be a mixture of understanding and pity. "Not if it ends up destroying you."

Blaine shook his head. "I know that we can work everything out. Just...don't worry about it, okay? We're okay or at least we will be." He didn't know why he was so adamant to convince Kurt that his relationship was working when he knew that it wasn't. Maybe he was just trying to convince himself at that point…

"But sometimes love's just not-"

"Just drop it, okay? Please." Blaine said feeling himself get irritated. "I don't want to keep talking about it." Thoughts raced through Blaine's mind as he focused on Kurt holding his hand. It felt nice, very nice. Like Kurt understood him, like he respected what he believed in and didn't think of him any less.

It felt too nice.

It felt dangerous.

Blaine freed his hand from Kurt's grip and rubbed the back of his neck with it. The other boy looked disappointed, which made Blaine even more scared. What if Sebastian had been right all along? What if the other boy had feelings for him after all?

And what if Blaine didn't mind it as much as he should?

He needed to get out of there.

"I need to go." Blaine said abruptly.

"Oh, but we can keep talking if you want." Kurt said, his hand once again landing on a part of Blaine's body. This time he squeezed Blaine's shoulder.

But the other boy quickly stood up. "But I do." He spat out and mentally slapped himself when he saw the hurt look on his friend's face. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that." He rushed to say but Kurt didn't seem any better for it. "Pregnancy hormones, huh? Make you go crazy." He chuckled humorlessly but Kurt didn't look amused.

"I mean it, Blaine." Kurt said, his face full of concern. "You can talk to me whenever you want. Even in the middle of the night."

Yeah, Sebastian would love that.

"Thank you, Kurt." Blaine replied trying to remind himself that Kurt was just looking out for him when no one else even bothered. "I'll remember about it." He paused. "You won't tell anyone about any of it, right?" He asked even though he knew that Kurt would never betray his trust.

"I thought it goes without saying." Kurt gave him a half-smile which Blaine attempted to return.

"Thanks." Blaine said and stalked away wondering if he had made a right choice confessing to Kurt.

\---

The look on Sebastian's face was almost worth it. Almost, but not quite.

Not at all.

The green-eyed boy kept re-reading the paper as if he could actually understand any of it. The cousin had told him that yes, Blaine was pregnant, and he should soon come for a proper check-up to determine how far along he was and if everything was progressing smoothly. Then the doctor would give him the three options…

Adoption, abortion or keeping the baby.

Blaine didn't know which one of them scared him the most.

"Huh, I didn't seem this one coming." Sebastian admitted, for once not looking smug or like he owned the place. He looked confused and scared.

"We need to think this through." Blaine said calmly even though he felt like it should be Sebastian reassuring him and not the other way around. "It's...it's not the end of the world, right?" His voice sounded foreign to his ears, as if it was someone else speaking.

He waited for Sebastian's answer, needing the other boy not to freak out. "It's not." Sebastian said in a flat voice, drained of all emotions. "What do you want to do?"

Blaine shrugged. "I don't know." He admitted. "You?" He looked into his boyfriend's green eyes, hoping that Sebastian would have a perfect answer for them.

But the other boy looked just as lost as Blaine felt. "I don't know either, Blaine. Honestly, I didn't even think that it could really be happening." Then he looked straight into his boyfriend's eyes. "But I don't think we should keep it."

"I don't know." Blaine said again looking away. He wasn't ready to make any kind of declaration. "The competition's tomorrow." Blaine said, needing a distraction to stop talking about it. "We need to focus on it. What good would it do to let the team down?" He still didn't care all that much about the performance but it was a good excuse to focus on something else. "Let's talk about it once that's dealt with."

Sebastian eagerly nodded his head. "You're right." He said. "We'll talk about it then. We'll have plenty of time to think it through until then."

After their conversation Blaine didn't feel like talking to Sebastian. Instead, he walked straight to Kurt's dorm, not caring that Jeff and Nick could be there as well. He knocked once before the door opened revealing Kurt, already in his pajamas. Blaine fell right into his arms, not caring that his two roommates were staring.

Blaine didn't have to say anything. The look on his face had to be enough to tell Kurt everything.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song in this chapter is, of course, She Used To Be Mine, from the Broadway musical Waitress. I don't own it. When I was writing this chapter it was Jeremy Jordan's version that I was mostly listening to and so this is how envision Blaine's performance would more or less be line.

Kurt kept scanning the crowd of people pouring into the building in search of his McKinley friends. Too caught up in the craziness that was currently Blaine's life and life at Dalton in general the boy hadn't had much opportunity to see Rachel or Mercedes or even Finn for that matter. And so he knew he should devote the time he still had to warm up his vocal chords with the others but they had practiced the performance countless times so he was sure that no one would mind if he stole some time away for his friends.

And soon enough Kurt's heart skipped a beat when he spotted the New Directions walking through the front door, the loud and colorful mess that they were. He ran up to them immediately, beyond moved when all of them, even Puck, took a turn to give him a tight hug.

"Oh my God, Kurt!" Rachel screeched into his ear while Kurt tried to discreetly wipe away a tear that had managed to escape his eyes. "We haven't seen each other in ages."

"I know." Kurt said as both him and Rachel took a step away from the rest of the group. "And I really need your advice right now."

Rachel looked slightly taken aback. "Like now?" She asked. "You know that I have a long routine before each performance. I have to drink a soothing cocktail, stretch my body, my vocal chords."

Kurt grabbed her hand. "I really need to talk right now." The girl clearly saw the desperation in his eyes as her face softened.

"Okay." She said. "But quick."

Kurt pulled the girl through the building, bypassing members of other teams and luckily managing not to run into any of the other Warblers. They found a small abandoned room that apparently was supposed to be occupied by one team that hadn't showed up, at least not yet.

The room had a few vanity mirrors, some lockers and chairs. "Okay, tell me what it is." Rachel said as they took seats. A smirk made its way across her face. "It's about Blaine, isn't it?" She asked and Kurt's flushed cheeks were apparently enough of an answer. "I knew it. So...how bad has it got?"

"Bad." Kurt admitted. He hadn't said anything about his feelings to anyone but her. He was barely able to admit it to himself, much less to reveal it to someone else. But Rachel, his longtime frenemy, knew Kurt well.

Rachel chuckled. "Well, I didn't think you had it in you but are you asking me for an advice about how to break up Sebastian and Blaine?" She asked, her eyes glinting with unhealthy excitement. Well, Kurt was coming for an advice to her because he didn't have any other option really. Broken-up with Finn and constantly falling in love with suspicious guys, she wasn't exactly an authority on romance.

"No." Kurt answered. "Yes? I don't know. It's more complicated than that."

"I'm listening." Rachel said, her ears basically growing as she leaned in closer.

Kurt sighed. He wasn't sure if telling Rachel was a good idea. No, he was actually quite certain that it was a very bad idea but at the same time he had run out of rational ones. What damage would telling her would make anyway? "Blaine's pregnant." Kurt said ducking his head. "With Sebastian, of course." He added as if that was not obvious enough already.

When Rachel stayed silent for some time Kurt looked back up at her and could almost see the gears turning inside her head. "Oh, wow." She blinked a few times. "My dads have done their research on this, of course but it's quite rare. I never thought I'd get a chance to see it with my own eyes." The first wave of shock seemed to wash off her. "So that makes your situation that much more complicated." She stated unhelpfully. "I think you should leave that alone for now. Let Blaine figure things out on his own, or with Sebastian."

Kurt knew she was right. Of course he did. But it wasn't that easy to explain it to his stupid heart. "I don't think I can." He said. "I...I'm obsessed, Rachel. I just want to be with him all the time. We're good friends. I help him but it's not really enough, you know? I have dreams about him. I cry myself to sleep almost every night. I sound like a lunatic, don't I?" Kurt asked, fully aware that he sounded like a full-on psychopath.

"A bit." Rachel admitted.

They heard an abrupt movement and when Kurt turned his head, he saw that the door wasn't completely shut and much to his horror, Sebastian and Blaine were standing in the doorframe and looking at him. Sebastian had a slight smirk of satisfaction on his face, though it seemed to be mixed with a tad of envy. While Blaine had a look of pure betrayal on his face. Without even a word the boy turned on his heel and walked away.

Sebastian stayed behind for a second clearly just to torment Kurt but then followed his boyfriend. "Go after him!" Rachel rushed him gesturing at the door.

Feeling humiliated and mad at himself, Kurt jumped from the chair and ran after Blaine hoping that it was still fixable.

\---

"Do we really have to do this now?" Blaine asked rubbing his temples. His head was throbbing with pain that was caused most likely by the stuffy air inside their room and the exhausting rehearsals. And Sebastian's stupid ideas were only driving him more crazy.

"Look, it'd be easier that way." Sebastian said rubbing Blaine's arm reassuringly. "My aunt and uncle have been trying for a baby for years and they're thinking about adoption." His voice was soft and persuasive as he leaned in closer. "We could still see the kid whenever we wanted. And he'd live in France! He'd have such good education and loving parents."

Blaine sighed. A part of him thought that maybe his boyfriend was right and maybe it was the perfect thing to do. Everyone would win. But a much larger part of him still needed time to think things through properly, so that he could make up his mind in peace without being pushed by Sebastian. "I don't know." Blaine admitted tiredly. "Let me think about it."

"Okay." Sebastian said but his gaze landed on Blaine's stomach for a second. "But think fast. We don't have that much time."

"Oh, shut up." Blaine said raising from his seat. "I need to take a walk. There's no air in here." The boy said glancing at the other Warblers perfecting the already perfect dance moves.

"I'll go with you." Sebastian said following Blaine into the corridor.

"Whatever." Blaine said rolling his eyes.

"Why are you being so difficult?" Sebastian asked as they walked down the hallway, occasionally passing other people.

"What a bright question!" Blaine exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air in a mocking manner. "Wow. I don't know. Let me think about it. Maybe because I have a life altering decision to make? Yeah, I think that might be it."

"We have the decision to make." Sebastian corrected him.

"Yeah, sure." Blaine spat at him. "I'm trying to weight in the options while all you ever do is come up with more elaborate ways to get rid of it, pass off the responsibility for your child to other people."

Sebastian sighed. "I'm trying to be rational, Blaine." He shook his head. "While you're just being overdramatic. It's probably because of the hormones."

Blaine laughed bitterly. "Yeah, maybe it's the hormones. Or maybe it's just that I don't filter myself around you anymore just to please you."

"Blaine." Sebastian said looking slightly hurt by his boyfriend's words. But Blaine was too far gone to care.

"What?" He stopped walking and tried to calm himself down but failed miserably. "I'm sorry, okay? Is that what you want to hear? It's just too much sometimes. The competition, the baby and everything else."

Sebastian tried to wrap his arms around Blaine but the other boy pushed him away. "It's okay. We'll figure it all out."

"Just don't touch me right now."

"...I'm obsessed, Rachel. I just want to be with him all the time. We're good friends. I help him but it's not really enough, you know? I have dreams about him. I cry myself to sleep almost every night. I sound like a lunatic, don't I?"

Blaine pulled away from Sebastian when he heard Kurt's voice that was coming from behind a door that was slightly ajar. Blaine pushed the door fully open with his palm and saw Kurt and one of his McKinley friends sitting together. Kurt immediately looked at him.

Blaine couldn't believe that what he had heard was correct. That what he had started suspecting wasn't all in his head. There he was, naive Blaine that thought that someone actually wanted to be friends with him and help him, no strings attached. But there always had to be something. Kurt was just like everyone else. He was friends with him just because he wanted to get with him, break him and Sebastian up.

Fists clenched, Blaine didn't wait for any sort of explanation and just turned around and left.

\---

The lights were all dimmed as Kurt, along with the rest of the Warblers, walked on the stage. Kurt was doing his best to keep his emotions at bay but it was getting more and more difficult as Blaine wouldn't even look at him. Kurt wanted to explain it to him, that it wasn't like that. That he genuinely wanted to be a good friend and help Blaine through the circumstances he had found himself in. But the other boy wouldn't even let him come close.

And as to his feelings, well there wasn't much Kurt could do about them. He glanced at Sebastian, who in turn glared at him and quickly looked away. He could probably kiss Dalton Academy good-bye now. Kurt took a couple of deep breaths as Blaine took his place in the middle of the stage. They would talk later and Blaine would surely understand. But now it was time to focus all of his energy on the performance. He couldn't mess it up for his teammates.

"On the count of three." Wes said quietly but loud enough for Blaine to hear him as well. "One...two-" But before he could say the last number giving them a signal to start harmonizing for Hey Soul Sister it was Blaine's angelic voice that started echoing through the auditorium, completely raw, unaccompanied by any of theirs.

\---

Blaine couldn't bring himself to make eye contact with neither Kurt nor Sebastian. He was mad, no, pissed, at both of them not knowing who it was that he wanted to punch more. He had thought that he could count on Kurt to be his friend, a shoulder to cry on in those weird and confusing times. But no. It turned out that he only wanted to get into his pants. It was hard for Blaine to grasp it, that someone like Kurt could turn out to be such a player. But they didn't know each other all that well after all, did they? For all Blaine knew he only knew the side of Kurt that the other boy wanted to show him.

And then there was Sebastian. Sebastian that was unable to make up his mind about whether he wanted the baby or not. He kept going back and forth or coming up with the most ridiculous of ideas. Blaine was sick of it. He loved Sebastian but he needed him to give him much more support that he did now while Blaine himself was still uncertain about what to do.

Blaine took a deep breath, his gaze landing on the people's blank faces in the audience. How was he supposed to sing an upbeat song when he felt like collapsing on the ground and crying? But as he kept looking at the strangers, much to his surprise, Blaine noticed two familiar sets of eyes that were looking at him expectantly.

Pamela and Richard were staring at the stage and his mother even smiled when their gazes met. But Blaine sadly discovered that those were not the faces of parents that were boasting with pride to see their child perform for the masses. No, those were faces of parents that were dragged to their son's performance after being asked to do it a thousand times and finally giving in to get it over with.

That was the last straw for Blaine. There was no way in hell that he would sing Hey Soul Sister now, regardless of how unprofessional of him it was. So Blaine took a deep breath and started singing the one song that he had been listening to on repeat recently.

It's not simple to say  
That most days I don't recognize me  
That these shoes and this apron  
That place and its patrons  
Have taken more than I gave them  
It's not easy to know  
I'm not anything like I used be, although it's true  
I was never attention's sweet center  
I still remember that girl

\---

"What the hell is he doing?" Wes whispered, his face going red from anger and frustration. "Has he gone insane?"

Kurt knew the song and he was pretty sure that the rest of the Warblers did too. He listened to Blaine sing the first few verses softly and he understood why his friend had decided to change the song for this one.

The Warblers were clearly confused as they stood silently, paralyzed by Blaine's bold move. Knowing that the performance could still be saved, Kurt started humming softly, harmonizing with Blaine's voice. The other boy didn't seem to pay him any attention as he continued to sing, his voice growing louder and stronger.

Luckily the other Warblers saw what Kurt was doing and quickly joined in, swaying in the background and singing quietly as Blaine belted one note after another.

She's imperfect, but she tries  
She is good, but she lies  
She is hard on herself  
She is broken and won't ask for help  
She is messy, but she's kind  
She is lonely most of the time  
She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie  
She is gone, but she used to be mine

Blaine wanted to scream it all into Sebastian's face. Into Kurt's face. Into his parents' faces even though, just as the rest of his friends, they still didn't know about his situation. He made eye contact with his mother and then with his father but they didn't seem to notice that anything was out of the ordinary. Because of course they didn't.

It's not what I asked for  
Sometimes life just slips in through a back door  
And carves out a person and makes you believe it's all true  
And now I've got you  
And you're not what I asked for  
If I'm honest, I know I would give it all back  
For a chance to start over and rewrite an ending or two  
For the girl that I knew

Blaine thought about the child he usually didn't think of as anything more than a theoretical concept. It was hard for him to imagine that soon that concept would materialize and be placed in his arms. As long as it was just an idea it was well within his capacities to deal with it. But those days it was getting more and more real.

Who'll be reckless, just enough  
Who'll get hurt, but who learns how to toughen up  
When she's bruised and gets used by a man who can't love  
And then she'll get stuck  
And be scared of the life that's inside her  
Growing stronger each day 'til it finally reminds her  
To fight just a little, to bring back the fire in her eyes  
That's been gone, but used to be mine  
Used to be mine

Kurt was enchanted by Blaine's performance. It wasn't perfect. He didn't hit all the right notes, his voice shook but it was so raw and full of emotions that Kurt couldn't help but consider it one of the best performances he had seen in his life. He glanced at Sebastian and much to his surprise discovered that the other boy had the look of pure heartbreak on his face as he hummed quietly, tears rolling down his flushed cheeks,

Maybe it would turn out to be a moment of epiphany for him, Kurt thought. Did he want Sebastian to change and suddenly become a better boyfriend for Blaine? No, Kurt knew it was selfish of him and exactly what Blaine would accuse him of but he couldn't help the way he felt,

She is messy, but she's kind  
She is lonely most of the time  
She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie  
She is gone, but she used to be mine.

Kurt noticed that it was Wes that looked the most confused by Blaine's sudden improvised performance. He looked angry, frustrated but also concerned as his eyes stayed glued to his best friend. Kurt was sure that after that Blaine would have to come clean to him.

\---

Once the song ended Blaine felt like singing more but there were no more words left. The last ones hung in the air as the audience was dead silent for a few seconds. Only then the applause erupted, people started standing up, shouting, clapping, whistling, even their rivals.

But Blaine's anger hadn't melted away. It was still there. He still wanted to scream at anyone that had the misfortune to get in his way. Blaine panted, his heart racing, as he stormed off the stage not even giving any of his teammates a glance.

"Hey, what the hell, Blaine?" He felt Wes' hand on his shoulder. He wanted to keep going as far away as he could but his friend didn't let him. Wes grabbed his arm and forced him to stop walking and look at him. "Talk to me." Only then he realized that Wes looked worried. Blaine wanted to laugh. He was yet another person that he managed to disappoint.

"There's nothing to talk about." Blaine spat out seeing Kurt and Sebastian approaching. "I need to go." He said freeing himself from Wes' hold and pushing through another team waiting backstage for their turn.

\---

Wes crossed his arms over his chest as he turned to Sebastian and Kurt. "Can either of you explain to me what the fuck just happened?"

But Sebastian was already pushing past Wes, clearly trying to get to his boyfriend. Knowing that it wouldn't be wise to tag along Kurt stayed and sighed, unsure of what to say to his friend. "It's not my place." He said at last. "Ask Blaine."

Wes looked like he was about to explode. "And that has been working out great recently, huh?"

"I'm sorry." Kurt said, "I really can't say anything. Blaine hates me enough as it is."

"What?" Wes looked even more confused. "What did you do?"

"Doesn't matter." Kurt said, not about to humiliate himself in front of Wes as well.

===

Blaine was definitely not being melodramatic. Maybe he wasn't feeling exactly like himself recently but he had pretty good reasons to behave a bit differently. All sets of eyes were focused on him and Blaine wished he could disappear or will them to leave him alone. But he knew they wouldn't back down, especially when they were led by a very angry-looking Wes.

"What the hell were you even thinking?" Wes asked, basically vomiting the words at him. He was looking down on Blaine who was sitting on a bench and wondering how to escape this interrogation without making everyone hate him even more than they already did.

"The song was awesome, though." Jeff added which gained him a glare from Wes.

"It's not about how good or bad the performance was." Wes said turning to Jeff for a moment but quickly looking back at Blaine. "But while we're at it, I have to say that it wasn't the best. Yes, you conveyed the emotions but you were terribly off-key during some parts." Blaine sighed willing himself not to roll his eyes as that would only anger Wes more. "But that's not the point." Wes took a couple of deep breaths, clearly trying to calm himself down. "The point is that we agreed on a different song."

"I know. I'm sorry." Blaine said half-heatedly catching a glimpse of Kurt standing behind all the other Warblers. The other boy looked beyond guilty but Blaine didn't have it in him to feel sorry for anyone but himself.

"What the fuck happened then?" It wasn't like Wes to curse which meant that he was truly mad. "We spend weeks trying to perfect every move so that we can win and go to Regionals but no. You have to go and throw it all away for us."

"Calm down, Wes." This time it was Nick as he rested his hand on Wes' shoulder which was clearly supposed to be interpreted as a comforting gesture. "Nothing happened. Blaine was supposed to have the solo one way or another."

Wes looked at Nick as if he wanted to strangle his friend with his bare hands. "This is why we vote on everything. To settle things like that. And once we choose a song and the main soloist it's set in the stone." He once again turned back to Blaine who just wanted to die right there and then to avoid any further accusations from his friend. "So tell me, Blaine. Why did you change the song without even telling any of us?"

All sets on eyes that were in the room turned to Blaine piercing a hole through his skull. The boy still felt the emotions boiling inside of him. Still felt like screaming everything out at the people that called themselves his friends, that allegedly cared about his well-being and yet hadn't managed to pick on what was really happening to Blaine.

"You say that this is a democracy." Blaine said bitterly, standing up. "But all you really care about is that someone finally said no to you." He felt himself lose his shit once more. Maybe Sebastian was right after all. Maybe it was the hormones. "I sang that song because I felt more like it."

"Guys, I think you are blowing this out of proportion." Nick said, clearly trying to be the rational one. "Can we all calm down, please?"

"No until I get to the bottom of this." Wes said, his voice getting slightly softer. "Blaine, talk to me. We're all your friends here."

But Blaine knew that revealing anything now would only make his life that much more difficult. "I need to get some air." He said honestly. His head was still hurting and he felt like the other Warblers were all blocking his air supply.

Not caring that Wes was calling after him or that Kurt was giving him a look of a kicked puppy, Blaine pushed through the crowd of his friends and left the dressing room.


	9. Chapter 9

Sebastian shook the blazer off his shoulders and let it fall to the floor. He kicked it with his foot into a corner knowing that his maid would pick it up. Then he sat on his bed and let out a long sigh. Those days, he couldn’t wait for Friday so that he could escape Dalton (or rather his needy boyfriend) and find refuge in his usually empty house. 

Whether his father was home or not made no difference as even if he was, he would spend the majority of his time in the office or with one of his mistresses. His mother on the other hand was hardly ever around as she preferred to spend her husband’s money on traveling around the country. Weekend trips to New York with her friends to see a Broadway show were nothing out of the ordinary as were the occasional shopping trips to either Paris or Milan.

As to Sebastian’s older sister, she studied medicine in Australia and called once every few weeks at best. Not that he cared about any of that. He was fine by himself. And at this current time he actually craved isolation. He would lie to Blaine, tell him that his mother for once wanted to see him, to have a dinner together. He lied that they watched movies together, talked about things just so that Sebastian could have a moment just for himself without all the drama that came with their little secret. 

Sebastian had never thought it would end up quite like this. He had never been one to commit, to look for something steady or make plans for the future regarding love. In his mind relationships were supposed to be fun and easy. And if anything more ever came out of one, then good for him.

Now each time Sebastian closed his eyes he heard contradicting voices, one screaming over another. Blaine’s was the loudest one, urging him to make a definitive choice and be more supporting. 

Sebastian changed out of the Dalton Academy uniform into something more comfortable and walked down the stairs, into the kitchen to fix himself a cup of coffee, hopefully with a shot of something stronger to dull his senses just enough to make the voices quiet down a little.

“Oh, hello, Mr. Smythe.” Sebastian met the gaze of Amanda, their maid, as she chopped vegetables, probably for dinner for his father. 

“Hi, Amanda.” The boy greeted the middle-aged woman forcing himself to give her a half-smile.

“Homesick, huh?” She questioned even though Sebastian preferred her to shut up and mind her own business for once. “You’re home almost every weekend now.” She stated as Sebastian started going through the cupboards in search of some coffee. 

“Something like that.” Sebastian said, not bothering to go into any more detail and especially not with her. 

Amanda shook her head fondly and grabbed a packet of the best Colombian coffee from a cupboard that Sebastian didn’t even thought of searching. “Thanks.” He muttered as she made him the cup of coffee he had been craving. 

He took a sip as Amanda continued to chop and even though he could leave, Sebastian decided to stay in the kitchen, not even knowing why. But his thoughts were still plagued by Blaine and the pressure the other boy put on him to make the choice quickly.

The funny thing was that Sebastian was not all that repulsed by the idea of having a child with Blaine. The thought would even put a smile on his face every once in a while. But it was more of a fantasy, a dream that was supposed to come true only sometime into the future. 

Sebastian tried to think rationally because Blaine clearly couldn’t. A child would make it so much more difficult to get into a good college. That was why Sebastian was so fond of the idea of giving the kid to his aunt and uncle. It would be in good hands and they could still visit it every once in a while without having all that responsibility that came with parenting.

But Blaine didn’t like the idea and Sebastian was not even sure why. They were too young to be parents. They couldn’t say for sure if their relationship would withstand Blaine’s constant mood swings. Sometimes Sebastian wondered if it was worth all the trouble. Maybe they should break up and save themselves from all the complications. Or maybe they should pick the easiest route. To go to the clinic while there was still time.

It would be hard, especially for Blaine but maybe in the was the best solution. No one would ever have to know but them…and Kurt.

As soon as the thought entered Sebastian’s mind he felt like punching the nearest wall. The boy kept meddling and meddling and making things even more complicated than they ever needed to be. Sebastian had always known that Kurt’s innocent looks were nothing if not a deceiving and clever disguise for his predatory tendencies. 

And at least now Blaine knew that too.

Sebastian felt his head start to hurt. He was torn, not knowing if this was something that could ever be solved. It wasn’t a math problem after all. This was a child that they couldn’t agree on what to do with it.

“Something bugging you?” Amanda asked pulling Sebastian out of his thoughts.

Sebastian gave her another half-hearted grimace that was supposed to serve for a smile. “Everything’s fine.” He said even though it couldn’t be further from the truth, even though his world kept falling apart and he didn’t know what to do with it.

\---

The competition had come and gone, they had tied with New Directions, only thanks to all the emotions Blaine had poured into his last minute song of choice and the Warblers didn’t know what to think of it. They were all happy that they would get a chance at Regionals, of course. But at the same time Wes was still visibly upset with his best friend and worried about him. Especially when neither him nor Sebastian showed up for the first meeting after Sectionals. 

And Blaine still wouldn’t talk to Kurt. He tried calling, texting, coming to his dorm but it was all to no avail. The texts and phone calls remained unanswered and each time it was Wes opening the door and just grimly shaking his head at Kurt and telling him to go.

Kurt felt like crying. He didn’t understand how it could have all gone wrong so easily. One minute, it seemed like he was getting closer to Blaine and the next, the other boy was locking himself away from him. 

Did Blaine really think the idea of Kurt having feelings for him so terrible? Surely, there were worse things that he could have done. He could easily enumerate how Sebastian had failed his boyfriend time and time again, and yet Blaine always put him on a pedestal.

Well, maybe he did love him after all.

Kurt was aware of the fact that he really should not care all that much. His feelings were not important right now. It was Blaine’s well-being and he should be worried about. And he was but without being able to talk to his (hopefully still) friend, Kurt couldn’t check if Blaine needed his help.

And there there was also the question of Kurt’s motives. He wanted to say that it was nothing more than wanting to be a good friend to Blaine that drove him to such desperate measures but the thing was that it was probably far from the truth. Deep down, Kurt knew that those feelings were what had pushed him to such lengths to be there for Blaine. And he hated that.

It was only later in the day when Kurt finally got the chance to look at Blaine. He was having dinner all by himself in the cafeteria watching the other boy pick at his food in the company of his boyfriend who kept talking to him. Blaine didn’t seem to be listening to him. 

And he didn’t even cast a glance Kurt’s way.

\---

Everything was confirmed. Blaine was eight weeks along. Everything was well – at least with the pregnancy because other than that Blaine’s life still was falling apart. Wherever he looked, something was wrong or someone was mad at him. 

Sebastian kept talking to him about either abortion or giving the baby away to be raised by his aunt and uncle in France, his parents were still oblivious to everything, Wes was still mad at him and Kurt...well Kurt was a completely different story that Blaine didn’t have neither time nor energy to deal with. 

Because it would mean having to analyze Blaine’s own feelings. And he was very much afraid of what he could possibly discover. It wasn’t the best time for any major revelations. 

And so Blaine would only glance at Kurt every once in a while, wishing that they could talk and that he could find refuge in his arms while the rest of the world was against him. But he wasn’t ready to confront his feelings just yet. He didn’t know if he’d ever be.

Well, it looked like the next couple of months would be a hell of a ride.


	10. Chapter 10

The next two months went by painfully slow for Kurt. Regionals went well. Or as well as it could go considering the fact that they had lost to New Directions. Even Blaine’s strong vocals and his energetic duet with Sebastian weren’t a match for the other team’s original song. 

When the Warblers had licked their wounds and New Directions had finished celebrating, Rachel (as well as the rest of the glee club really) started nagging on Kurt to abandon his new team and go back to them. It was a tempting offer, Kurt had to admit. It was one of his biggest dreams to see New York, the city that he pictured himself living in one day.

But then he would glance at Blaine who each day looked just a tiny bit more transparent, like he was withering away and he knew that he couldn’t leave even if the other boy still refused to talk to him.

“Kurt, I understand that you care about him.” Rachel would often say through the phone as the boy sat in the garden outside the building to avoid his roommates eavesdropping. “But he won’t even talk to you and really, he has so many things on his plate right now. You should just leave this place and move on. It would be healthy for the both of you.”

The boy sighed. “That’s exactly why I can’t do this, Rachel.” Kurt said, “I know Blaine’s not talking to me right now but I have to make sure that he knows that I’ll be there for him if he needs me.”

There was a pause on the other end and he heard Rachel sigh. “You’ll only get hurt, Kurt.” Her voice was quiet and soft, as if she knew that there was no convincing her best friend.

Kurt closed his eyes, the despair he often felt coming in full force. “I’m always hurting.” He admitted. “I don’t think it can get any worse than this.”

“You’d be surprised.” Rachel only said and soon after that they ended the phone call, her sad that she wasn’t able to get through to her friend, and Kurt slightly guilty for disappointing her once again.

After their failed attempt to win Regionals, the life at Dalton had become dull and uninspiring. The rehearsals were redundant, neither one of the boys bringing their A game as the only public performances they could count on were either for other students or for sick children in hospital. It was all noble and fulfilling but it lacked a certain edge and thrill of adrenaline that only competing against others brought.

But even in some alternate universe, where they had been victorious during Regionals, Kurt knew that his thoughts would have been plagued by one person only. Kurt wished he shared some classes with Blaine, so that he could observe the other boy more closely but unfortunately he could only do so during the practices or in the cafeteria.

Kurt kept wondering what really had happened. Blaine was pregnant, that one was confirmed. Or at least he had been. The boy kept looking out for any sighs but either Blaine was exceptionally good at hiding everything or there was no baby to speak of anymore. He thought he could see a slight curve pressing against Blaine’s blazer but it could be as well just his imagination.

Sebastian had never reported him to the headmaster, He was able to stay at Dalton, if only because Blaine wouldn’t talk to him now. The dirty looks had ceased also. Sebastian didn’t seem like his old self either. He hardly ever showed up to the practices anymore and when he did, he didn’t even sit next to his boyfriend.

It was a few weeks after the Regionals that the news had spread all through the school – boys whispering to one another, Warblers and non-Warblers alike. Kurt heard it from Jeff and Nick one Sunday evening when he came back from Lima after a weekend spent with his family.

The dorm room fell silent when Kurt entered, a small suitcase in tow. They were both sitting on Jeff’s bed and looking conspicuously at one another and then at Kurt who raised his eyebrows at them. “What?” He asked, feeling like they had been talking about him while he had been gone. He shrugged off his jacket and opened up his suitcase, ready to organize his small closet space like he often did after his trips back home that happened more often than not now that he didn’t really have a reason to stay.

Jeff and Nick exchanged one more look. “It’s a shitshow, Kurt.” Jeff said but his voice lacked its usual humor and edge. “Blaine and Sebastian broke up.” He said softly. “And Blaine’s apparently pregnant too and been hiding it since Sectionals.”

Kurt dropped the handle of his suitcase and gaped at his two friends. “How do you know that?” He asked, unable to believe that the cat was out of the bag and that he had missed it. 

“Well, it’s kind of hard not to know it.” Nick said with a shrug, his face grave. Kurt was sure that if it had been anyone else they would be laughing about it and joking. But it was Blaine. The one that they all loved and would die for. “Their break-up was quite loud.”

“And very much public.” Jeff added. “They broke up today over breakfast. It was very hard not to hear it.”

Kurt’s heart broke a little more when he heard all of that. Two months ago a part of him would have been happy to learn that Blaine was finally a single man but now he knew that an intense break-up was the last thing that the other boy needed in that moment. “Is Blaine still here?”

“Yeah.” Nick said. “We called Wes and begged him to come quickly but he couldn’t make it.”

Kurt didn’t wait for any further explanations and instead stormed out of the room in a flash and nearly ran all the way to Blaine’s dorm. He knocked rapidly against the door, not bothering to think about any consonances. He didn’t know if Blaine would even want to see him but he didn’t care. The other boy needed someone and for now Kurt seemed to be the only one he had.

The door didn’t open for him and there was no sound coming from behind it so Kurt just pressed the handle and the door gave way. The side of the room that belonged to Wes looked like it always did, still neat and well-organized but the other one was utter and complete mess. Books and papers were scattered everywhere, as well as some of the clothes giving the appearance of being thrown around in frustration.

And on the bed there was a small bundle of blankets curled in on itself, clearly hiding from the rest of the world. Kurt’s heart broke at the sight as he closed the door and slowly took a seat on the edge of the bed. Blaine’s face was buried into the pillow and for a while Kurt thought that he was asleep but his breathing was uneven, shaky, as if he was holding back sobs.

“Go away. I don’t want to talk.” Blaine said, his voice muffled by the pillow. 

Kurt smiled sadly, unable to stop himself from landing a comforting hand against the boy’s back. “I heard what happened.” At those words he felt Blaine’s back tense slightly under his fingers. “And I’m sorry that it did.”

“Yeah, I bet you are.” Blaine said bitterly. He lifted his head and met Kurt with red puffy eyes and wet cheeks. “Isn’t this what you always wanted?”

Kurt sighed looking away. He had foolishly wished that all would be forgiven after some time has passed. Apparently not. “To see you heartbroken and miserable? No, it’s not what I want now or what I wanted before.” He said, his voice soft and apologetic. As much as he wanted to avoid it, Kurt felt like he needed to say the whole truth if he ever wanted them to move on. “I have to admit, my intentions might not have been the purest before but I never wanted to see you hurt. I always cared about you first and foremost.” He could see Blaine’s eyes soften as he sat up more straight on the bed so that they were looking at each other properly. “And that hasn’t changed.”

Blaine still didn’t look fully convinced. “How do I know that you’re being honest now?”

Kurt shrugged, not having a good answer for now. “I guess you will just have to trust me for now.” He said. “But I have kept my distance, haven’t I? No talking, no even trying to get close to you.” That had to count for something, Kurt kept telling himself. “And I just want to be here for you now. No obligations, no expectations. Just…whatever you need, Blaine.”

The other boy kept piercing Kurt with his eyes, as if still debating with himself whether or not he could really trust him. “You were the only one that noticed my act.” He said quietly. “You could see right through me when no one else could.” His shoulders slumped as he looked down at his hands. Kurt wished that he could grab them and squeeze reassuringly but he feared that it would be a step too far.

They were silent for a while but it wasn’t an uncomfortable kind of silence. It was calm and almost pleasant in a way. “I should probably fill you in on what has happened since we last really talked.” Blaine said at last.

“You don’t have to.” Kurt rushed to say. “We could just watch a movie if you want, if that makes you feel any better.”

Blaine shook his head. “No.” He said. “I really want to tell you everything. I feel like I need to.”

Kurt nodded. “Okay, then. I’m listening.”

Blaine sighed rubbing his face. “Jesus, where do I even start?”

“What about your parents?” Kurt asked, wanting to help Blaine out a little. “Do they know now?”

Blaine nodded his head slowly. “Yeah, they do.”

\---

Blaine remembered that day well. It was about two weeks after Sectionals. He wasn’t particularly fond of the idea of his parents having another reason to be disappointed in him but he knew that it was only right to tell them before they found out on their own, under less fortunate circumstances.

They were supposed to do it together with Sebastian but the green-eyed boy came up with some bullshit excuse at the last minute and bailed out of it asking to do it some other day. But Blaine was just too tired of keeping this secret from them so he decided to do it on his own.

He sat his parents in the living room on the sofa and stood in front of them begging whatever higher power that was up there to help him out. Pamela and Richard stared at him in question, clearly suspecting that something was wrong. “There is something I need to tell you.” Blaine said at last, his voice shaking and his palms sweating. 

Richard raised his eyebrows and shared a look with his wife. “Did you finally decide on what colleges you’re going to apply to? I’d say that it’s about time.”

It took all of Blaine’s willpower to stop himself from rolling his eyes or saying something stupid. They could fight about it some other time. “No. It’s not that.”

“Sweetie, I know it’s a tough choice but you really should start thinking about it.” Pamela said with a sweet smile, clearly meaning well but unable to ever disagree with her husband.

“It’s something else, okay?” Blaine was getting agitated but he did his best to remain as calm as he could given the circumstances. “I...” He stumbled over the words, his tongue seemingly going numb and refusing to work properly. He was never going to get better at doing this, was he? 

“What is it, Blaine?” Richard asked, clearly getting impatient as he crossed his arms over his chest.

The boy closed his eyes and took a deep breath trying to block out the two people sitting in front of him. He imagined that it was just him and no one else, that he was only saying this to himself. “I am pregnant.” He said at last, his voice steady and firm. Then he opened his eyes to find two shocked faces staring back at him. Before they could recover, Blaine started speaking again, the words falling out of his mouth like vomit. “I know it’s a lot to take in but I want to be responsible about it. Sebastian will help me. We’re still considering our options. We might be leaning towards adoption though.” 

Blaine didn’t even know why he was saying that if he was always on Sebastian’s case for suggesting that but in that moment it felt surprisingly right. “Sebastian’s aunt and uncle are actually trying to adopt a baby themselves so we thought that it would be best if we gave the baby to them. This way they’d be happy and we would still visit him or her. We’re not sure yet though because-”

“Blaine, hold on a second.” Pamela said sitting up more straight. She still looked slightly confused but it looked like she was not going to yell at Blaine which was a very good sign. Richard’s face was a bit more stern but Blaine preferred not to look his way at least yet. “You know that pregnancy in your case is very improbable. We should first check it, make sure that it’s not something else and then think about it, okay?” At the woman’s words the man beside her seemed to relax a bit.

Blaine smiled sadly at his mother. “It’s all confirmed, Mom.” He said at which the woman’s eyes widened and Richard tensed again. “I went to the doctor. Everything looks good. I’m ten weeks along.”

“How could you let something like this happen?” This time it was Blaine’s father speaking. He leaned forward, his expression grave and his lips pressed in a tight line as he stared at his son in disapproval. “You’re not a child anymore.”

Pamela put a comforting arm on her husband’s shoulder. “It happened.” She said calmly. “There’s nothing you can say that will change it now.” Blaine was surprised to see his father’s eyes soften as he looked into the woman’s eyes. Pamela turned to Blaine. “We will help you, Blaine. Of course we will, with whatever you and your boyfriend choose to do.” She turned back to Richard. “Right, Dick?”

The man looked at his son, his eyes hard but not cold anymore. “Right.” But then his gaze changed into something Blaine was way too familiar with. “But you better think it through well. It may not be an easy task knowing your decision-making skills.”

Blaine couldn’t help but smile at that.

\---

“So they’re okay with it?” Kurt asked, happy that Blaine seemed to have his parents ready to support him. 

Blaine nodded his head, his face not quite as red and flushed anymore. “As okay as any parents would be, I guess.” He said. “You have no idea how scared I was to tell them. I thought they would kick me out or something.” A small smile made its way onto Blaine’s face as he looked into the distance, clearly thinking about his parents. “I guess I should give them more credit next time.”

Kurt returned the smile but then he thought about something Blaine had said. “Is this something you really want to do? Give the baby to Sebastian’s family?”

The boy shrugged. “Well, I don’t have much of a choice anymore.” He looked down at his stomach that was now visibly pressing against the fabric of his shirt. “One option’s out of the window. It took me too long to decide but I don’t think I would have been able to do that anyway.” He paused for a moment. “And I know that giving her away is not ideal. I’ll miss her like crazy but I don’t feel like I’m in a good place to take care of another person. I’m barely keeping myself together.” Another pause, as if he was still pondering something, still thinking about what could be. “It would have been hard enough with Sebastian and on my own? No way.”

Kurt smiled at the mention of the baby’s gender. “You could do it.” Kurt said with confidence. “Would it be hard as hell? I bet. But I know you could do it.” He said again. 

Blaine smiled back. “Thanks.” He said. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe I could do it but I’m trying to be responsible and considering of others. I’m really getting warmed up to the idea of Francine and Louis raising her. They’re Sebastian’s family. They promised that we could both still be part of her life. We’d be her uncles.” There was still a smile on his face which Kurt loved seeing. “And I think it sounds nice, you know? Not ideal because I don’t think anything would be ideal but nice.”

Kurt nodded his head. “If that’s what you want.”

“I think it is.”

The comfortable silence fell between them again before Kurt broke it, too curious to help himself. “Do you want to talk about happened today?” He asked at which Blaine saddened again. “We don’t have to if you don’t want to. Only if it makes you feel any better.”

“Our relationship was doomed to fail for some time.” Blaine said with a shrug. “I guess we were just together because it was what we knew at that point. I don’t even know why I’m so upset over this, to be honest. I knew this would have to happen eventually.” He paused for a moment rubbing the back of his neck. “I just kept holding on to it like a fool and it blew in my face.”

\---

Things between them hadn’t been good for a longer while now but neither of them spoke about it, choosing to omit the subject in favor of more serious matters which had somehow become easier to discuss recently. Blaine had agreed to meet Sebastian’s aunt and uncle after being promised that the meeting would bear no obligations or expectations.

Francine and Louis turned out to be a lovely couple and as they told Blaine about the charming little French town they lived in the boy couldn’t help but fall in love with the idea of their daughter growing up in a European countryside, surrounded by nature but also with prestigious schools easily available to her.

Blaine didn’t tell Sebastian that at first. He didn’t want his boyfriend to be right and hold it over him for ages so instead he kept saying that he needed more time to decide, much to the other boy’s dismay. All the while he talked to his parents about it and they were on board as well, happy that their grandchild would be in good hands but also that they would get a chance to meet her and be a permanent part of her life.

Sebastian’s parents had also been made aware of the situation, of course. They weren’t too happy as one would expect but they didn’t make a huge deal out of it either. As soon as they found out that Blaine and Sebastian were thinking about letting Francine and Louis adopt the baby they simply agreed to it and didn’t really say more on the matter.

Meanwhile Sebastian and Blaine were still a couple, even though it seemed like they were miles away. They held hands in the hallways but they hardly even kissed anymore and they found out that they didn’t have all that much to talk about. Blaine kept his feelings to himself and Sebastian apparently did too as it turned out one Sunday morning.

It all started quite innocently. “I was thinking of visiting Fanny in Australia this summer. You’d want to tag along?” The boy asked as he buttered his toast.

Blaine rolled his eyes shoving a piece of bread into his mouth. “Are you serious right now?” He asked.

Sebastian frowned at him. “Yeah, it’s not like we’ll be taking care of the kid. It’ll be all over then. We deserve a break, don’t you agree?”

Blaine couldn’t believe his ears. “I still haven’t made up my mind, you know.” He spat at Sebastian, raising his voice an octave or two and gaining a questioning gaze from one of the students sitting at a nearby table.

Sebastian glared at his boyfriend. “Keep your voice quiet, would you?” He said in a whisper looking around. “We don’t want the whole school gossiping about us. It’s a miracle Hummel didn’t spill anything yet.”

Blaine shook his head, not wanting to think about Kurt. He thought about him way more than he should as it was, glancing at the other boy when he was sure he wasn’t looking. He would never admit that to Sebastian though. That would send him spiraling into the crazy territory right away. “I don’t think I care if anyone else finds out now, to be honest.”

Sebastian raised his eyebrows at that. “Yeah? You want to be called names, Blaine?”

“What names?” Blaine asked, not willing to believe that any of his friends would think any less of him for getting knocked up.

“Slut, whore, freak.” Sebastian easily enumerated.

Blaine shook his head in disbelief. “Is that what you think of me?”

Sebastian rolled his eyes running his hand through his hair. “Jesus, Blaine. Of course not.” He said. “I’m just saying that some of them could think that.”

“So what? Am I supposed to hide it for the rest of the pregnancy?” Blaine raised his voice, at this point only to spite Sebastian. He almost smiled seeing the panicked look in his green eyes as the cafeteria suddenly fell silent and the students all turned to look at the couple, murmuring between each other.

“God, Blaine. Could you not?” Sebastian asked rubbing his head with his hands. “Why do you have to be so unbearable?”

Blaine snorted. “If I’m so unbearable then why don’t you just break up with me and spare yourself from all the misery?” He asked, expecting Sebastian to back down and leave the topic alone.

But much to his surprise Sebastian stood his ground, his green eyes turning cold. “Actually, maybe that would be for the best.”

Blaine immediately looked up, an unpleasant wave of panic washing over him. “What? You’re not being serious.”

“Yeah, why not?” Sebastian asked and this time it was his voice that echoed through the room. “I am sick of you and I don’t care if you’re pregnant. You can blame only so much on the hormones. You can’t make up your mind, you won’t even let me touch you anymore. I don’t even know how to talk to you. No matter what I say it all just gets on your nerves.” He stood up from the table and Blaine heard some gasps from other students. 

They were putting up quite a show for them. 

“I try so fucking hard to be a good and supporting boyfriend but nothing is ever good enough for you, Blaine.” Blaine’s jaw dropped open as he realized that his boyfriend had to have been keeping it all in this whole time. “I don’t think I can do this anymore, Blaine. I’m not Hummel if this is what you’re looking for.” 

The shock gave way to the irritation that came with the mention of Kurt’s name. “Why does it always have to go back to him? It’s not my fault that you have unresolved jealousy issues.” He stated, not wanting to give Sebastian the satisfaction of pinning all of the blame for the issues on Blaine.

Sebastian’s gaze turned even colder and he snorted with a shake of his head. “Look me in the eye and tell me that you don’t have any feelings for him whatsoever.” He challenged with an evil glint in his eyes.

Blaine swallowed hard. “Sebastian.” He only said not wanting to lie yet still not really sure what he really felt regarding the blue-eyed boy. 

“Tell me.” Sebastian said again crossing his arms over his chest and looking straight into Blaine’s eyes. But the other boy remained silent ducking his head and avoiding Sebastian’s gaze. He knew there was no salvaging this. “Thought so.” Sebastian said with a shake of his head. “You should have just told me from the get go and save yourself all the trouble.”

“You know it was never like that.” Blaine said feeling tears welling up in his eyes. How was it all suddenly his fault?

“We started hating each other and you didn’t even realize it.” Sebastian said, his voice now soft.

“I love you.” Blaine said brokenly, tears flowing down his cheeks. “I do.”

“You don’t.” The green-eyed boy looked almost as broken as Blaine felt. “You love the idea of us, Blaine. And don’t get me wrong – I do too, but it’s just not enough anymore.”

Blaine sighed, his shoulders shaking with silent sobs. “Is this it then?” He asked.

“It’s over.” Sebastian confirmed coldly. “We can’t keep doing this to each other.” And once the words left his mouth he stared at Blaine for a moment, as if still not sure if he was really doing it. But then he left, all eyes in the cafeteria on him.

A part of Blaine already knew that it was all for the best but he still covered his face with his hands and started sobbing in the middle of the public hall, like a little kid whose world had just collapsed.

\---

Now Blaine had tears in his eyes again but at least they weren’t falling and he wasn’t sobbing. “I guess it’s for the best.” He said with a shrug. “Maybe we will be able to maintain some kind of friendship at least.” He said but his voice held no conviction. “And everyone knows without me having to tell them. It all worked out in the end.”

Kurt nodded his head but his whole body was shaking like he was on fire. His heart was beating like crazy and he needed to focus hard not to break his promise of keeping his distance and respecting Blaine’s boundaries. He opened his mouth and closed a few times, unable to find the right words to pour his thoughts into. “So you never told anyone else?” Kurt asked instead.

Blaine shook his head. “I didn’t.” He admitted. “Well, I did tell Wes in the end. It became impossible to hide it from him with him being my roommate and all.” He rolled his eyes. “He judged me a little but it was nice that he knew and I could talk to him about everything.”

Kurt nodded his head slowly, a part of him sad that it wasn’t him that Blaine had been confiding in all this time. “I’m glad he was there for you, that you weren’t alone.” He swallowed hard, still shaking but hoping that Blaine couldn’t see it. “Blaine, I have to ask you something.” He said with his eyes closed.

“Yeah?”

He swallowed again and looked up at Blaine, his honey-colored eyes warm and open. “You said that Sebastian mentioned me when you broke up.” He said, his voice breaking. “Was he right?” He asked in a quiet voice. “Do you...do you...ugh...have feelings for...ugh...me?” Kurt felt out of breath, as if he had just ran a marathon. “You don’t have to answer, of course. I know I said I would not pursue you in any way and I will stick to my promise. I just-” He sighed, running out of breath. “I guess I just wanted to know.”

Much to his surprise when Kurt looked back at Blaine, there was a soft smile on his lips. “Don’t worry, Kurt.” He said. “It’s fine.” He paused for a moment looking down at his hands. “I wouldn’t have mentioned it if I didn’t want you to know, would I?” 

“I guess.”

Blaine was still smiling but it was a soft and shy smile that could be scared away in a matter of seconds. “I’m very confused right now, Kurt. About a lot of things.” He admitted giving him a small shrug. “Really a lot.” His hand twitched and a part of Kurt wanted to believe that it was because Blaine wanted to touch him. “You included.”

Kurt felt like his heart was about to explode as he waited for what Blaine would say next. “I think I do have some kind of feelings for you. But I need time to sort this all out in my head. I’m nowhere near ready to jump right into another relationship and I need you respect that.”

Kurt nodded his head. “Of course.”

“Thank you.” Blaine said, the smile growing a little wider.

The blue-eyed boy sighed in relief. He knew that they would be alright and so he reached out and grabbed Blaine’s pleasantly warm hand into his cold one knowing that they both understood that it was just a friendly gesture.

But maybe one day it would be more.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there you have it! The last chapter. I'm so sorry for the late update. I really did have it written but I realized that I really hated that version but at the same time I couldn't bring myself to write something else. Boring online classes finally did the trick. I am not exactly happy with this chapter, as I am not all that happy with the story overall. There are some fragments that I love but I know it could have been much better. But I wrote it, so might as well post it. Thank so much for reading and giving me this second chance!

Blaine felt like a rare zoo animal when he walked the next day into the common room for rehearsal. He had considered skipping it but decided against it in the end. All eyes were on him – to which he knew he would have to start getting used to. The boy had barely dragged himself to breakfast knowing that people would sneer, stare and whisper.

But much to his surprise and immediate relief Blaine had been quickly joined at his table by Nick, Jeff and Kurt and later by Wes. He had expected at least some questions regarding everything that had gone down the day before but once again his friends surprised him. 

Nick and Jeff cracked some jokes and bickered about some insane assignment they shared and then Kurt started retelling a “minor” glee club drama that was going on at McKinley but in Blaine’s opinion belonged rather in a telenovela. It was only Wes that watched his best friend worriedly but Blaine decided to ignore that for the time being.

And every once in a while Blaine’s eyes would dart to his left only to land on Sebastian who was eating all on his own, seemingly lost in the homework that was in front of him as he slowly sipped his coffee.

Blaine’s eyes scanned the common room in search of his ex but he was nowhere to be found, the wounds probably still too raw to put salt in them. But Kurt was there, looking around the room from one of the sofas with his satchel sitting next to him.

As soon as he spotted Blaine he smiled and grabbed the satchel away. The shorter boy gratefully took the offered seat trying to ignore all the stares. As Wes walked briskly into the room Blaine really hoped that his situation wouldn’t be addressed. It was the last thing he needed.

But of course, no such luck.

“I think we need to discuss our performances going forward.” Wes began, his eyes traveling over the faces of his fellow Warblers only to rest on Blaine. “With...certain new developments I think it’s safe to assume that someone should take over at least some of Blaine’s solos.” 

Blaine narrowed his eyes at his friend but didn’t have it in him to fight Wes. It wasn’t like performing was something that made him feel much better recently. And Wes had known about the pregnancy for the last couple of weeks and hadn’t intervened up to that point only because Blaine didn’t want to become Dalton’s new object of gossip.

Like he was now.

Only a few Warblers were decent enough not to raise their hands when Wes asked which one of them wanted to audition for solos. Kurt was one of them. “You should try out.” Blaine whispered to him with a small smile.

Kurt raised a curious eyebrow at him. “Are you sure? Doesn’t it bother you that they’re taking away your solos?”

Blaine shrugged. “There are other things I should focus on at the moment.” Then he grabbed firmly Kurt’s arm and thrust it up. “Yes, I am sure.”

Seeing that gesture the rest of the undecided Warblers raised their hands as well and that way Wes decided that they would have open auditions in a couple of days. 

It wasn’t even like they were competing for solos during major events with crowds cheering them on. The only kind of attention they could count on was from children at the orphanage or elderly folks at the retirement home. 

\---

Blaine knew that he needed to have a serious talk with Sebastian sooner or later. But it was a discussion that he was dreading. For one, Blaine would have to tell Sebastian that, after spending more than one night thinking it over, he was right. That maybe it would be for the best if they let Francine and Louis adopt their daughter.

But there was also the other thing. The break-up was still fresh in Blaine’s mind and he didn’t know if them talking so soon was such a great idea. And damn, Blaine would be lying if he said that he didn’t miss the other boy. Or maybe it was the familiarity of their relationship that he missed. They had been a mess for more than a few weeks but they had been together for over a year. It wasn’t something that could be so easily erased. 

“You do need to talk, you know.” Wes said as Blaine watched him iron a few of his identical shirts. 

“I am aware. Thank you.” Blaine said with a roll of his eyes.

It didn’t mean that he wasn’t going to postpone that conversation for as long as he could though.

\---

Kurt avoided Sebastian as much as he could which, with them not sharing any classes, wasn’t all that difficult. But one fortunate day he bumped into him in the library. There was nothing stopping them from ignoring each other and going their separate ways. Kurt was about to do just that – grab a book that he needed and get out of the library as fast as he could – but he couldn’t help but glance at Sebastian. 

And that apparently did it. The glare Sebastian sent his way could be considered deadly. Kurt quickly looked away but it was too late. “You must be pretty fucking pleased with yourself now, huh? Finally got what you were after.” Sebastian’s voice was quiet but his words spiteful as he looked away from Kurt and focused on a pile of books on the table in front of him.

Maybe (probably, definitely) it would be wiser to just ignore the remark and walk away but the urge to bite back was too strong to resist. “To my understanding it was you that broke up with Blaine and not the other way around.” Kurt said keeping his gaze fixed on Sebastian.

The other boy rolled his eyes. “Don’t pretend that you don’t know that you were at least part of the reason.”

Kurt turned fully towards Sebastian not willing to let him pin all the blame on him. “And you don’t blame me for your relationship problems.” He approached Sebastian’s table trying to keep his voice quiet but very much failing at it. “You ignored Blaine, didn’t listen to him, pushed him into things he didn’t want and then left him in the greatest time of need. But sure, it’s all my fault.”

Sebastian was quiet for a moment, his face hard and unreadable. “I had to break up with him.” He said. “I wasn’t about to be in a relationship with someone that was obviously in love with someone else. Even if he was in denial about it.”

“Not that it is any of your concerns, but we are not together.” Kurt said as calmly as he could. “I don’t think he needs any more of relationship drama right now. Don’t you agree?” When Sebastian didn’t say anything to that, Kurt added trying to sound for once sympathetic towards the other boy. “Just talk to him, okay? Blaine would feel better if he knew that you are still both on the same page.”

Sebastian didn’t say anything to that either so Kurt just left hoping that he got through to the other boy and that it was the end of the drama.

\---

Blaine was quiet surprised when less than two weeks after their break-up Sebastian knocked on his door. Seeing the two exes in the room Wes quickly excused himself (after making sure that Blaine was okay with that) leaving the two of them alone.

It was a bit bizarre to be face to face with Sebastian while not being a couple anymore. Blaine’s heart skipped a beat at the prospect that maybe his ex-boyfriend wanted to get back together but he quickly chased away that thought knowing that them going their separate ways was for the better.

The conversation went better than expected. There was no yelling, no crying or throwing accusation at one another. It was as if they were actually two adults discussing the future of their child. Blaine was finally ready to admit that he wanted Francine and Louis to adopt their daughter. They both also agreed that they wanted to remain a part of her life.

“I’m sorry.” Sebastian said at the end looking sadder than Blaine ever remembered him being. “I shouldn’t have been so harsh with you.”

Blaine shrugged. “It’s fine, I guess. I wasn’t fair to you either.” He admitted. “But I want you to know that while we were together I never made any move at Kurt. I still haven’t.”

“I know, Blaine.” Sebastian said. “I’ve thought about it and I know you wouldn’t.”

Blaine sighed. “But I did have feelings for him. I guess I still do.”

“I know that too.” Sebastian said looking sad but at peace with how things were.

“Can we...maybe...still be friends?” Blaine asked, not wanting to lose contact with Sebastian completely.

“I don’t know, Blaine.” Sebastian said with a shrug. “For now, it all hurts too much.”

The other boy nodded his head. “I get it. It’s fine.”

Sebastian looked away from him, his voice becoming quiet. “And you know, I don’t want you to be sulking all the time. If you want it just be with him, okay? Just don’t rub it in my face.”

Blaine couldn’t help but smile at that. “Thanks, Seb. But I don’t think I’m ready for anything new just yet.”

When Sebastian left Blaine let out a long breath of relief and then smiled to himself. Maybe for once things would actually be good for him.

\---

Being friends with Blaine again felt like gust of fresh wind on a hot summer day. Kurt felt as if great weight had been finally lifted off his shoulders and he could breath again. He learned how to be only Blaine’s friend, how to support him through difficult times, be the shoulder to cry on if needed. 

But he did his best no to impose his ideas and leave room for Blaine to make the choice regarding his unborn daughter. With each day he saw Blaine little by little return back to his former self. He smiled more, laughed louder and found happiness in singing once again.

And when Kurt was sure that Blaine would be alright without him, he turned to McKinley to rejoin his glee club because he knew that it was his home as much as Dalton was Blaine’s. The other boy understood Kurt’s decision and didn’t hold any resentment. The other Warblers supported Kurt as well, promising that they would be there for him whenever the blue-eyed boy needed them.

Kurt was teary-eyed and beyond moved when they prepared a tribute for him and sang a few songs with Blaine in the lead, the choreography much less complicated to accommodate his growing stomach. Sebastian was absent during the performance, but that wasn’t an unusual occurrence as he had basically quit the Warblers.

Even though they were now in two different schools Kurt kept in touch with Blaine, as well as with Jeff and Nick and occasionally the rest of the Warblers. They even invited him to one of their famous parties. A version of Kurt from a few months ago would have declined knowing that Blaine wouldn’t be there but right now he knew that it would be alright even without the younger boy.

And so he went there, all the while keeping Blaine updated on all the shenanigans the Warblers got themselves into (like Jeff and Nick getting so drunk that they ended up making out with each other). Kurt even allowed himself to flirt with some guy, Trent’s brother if he remembered correctly but it didn’t go beyond one kiss. His heart still belonged to another but he knew that it was more than alright to let himself enjoy life and Blaine wouldn’t mind.

The months went by in a blur and before Kurt realized it was time to go to New York for Nationals. He talked to Blaine whenever he could, the other boy being already heavily pregnant and staying at home for the remainder of the pregnancy with a private tutor coming to him every day. The New Directions lost and it was sad but Kurt was still happy that at least he got to see the city of his dreams.

Getting off the plane in Columbus he got a surprising text message from Blaine telling him that he had gone into labor while the other boy was up in the air. Kurt wanted to drive right to the hospital but he knew that it wasn’t his place and that he should give the other boy breathing space.

Still, he kept pacing his bedroom back and forth, biting his nails and checking his cell phone every few seconds in anticipation of a text message that it was all over. And when it finally arrived Kurt received a photo of a newborn girl in the arms of a very tired-looking Blaine. Still, there was a blinding smile on his face as he looked at his daughter with adoration.

Kurt visited him a couple of days later, when Blaine was already back home and his baby girl with her new family. He was a sobbing mess when Kurt came in, claiming to regret his decision to give Belle away. “Shh, it’s okay.” Kurt kept saying as he rubbed Blaine’s back while the other boy sobbed into his chest. “You’ll be okay. You’ll see. Just give it time.”

In the end Blaine needed a few session with a therapist and a lot of support from his family and friends but eventually he was okay and the rest of the school year went by in a calm atmosphere. Nothing happened between them but Kurt was okay with it. He knew that Blaine still needed time to recover mentally and Kurt was willing to give it to him and wait patiently.

\---

It was the beginning of summer and Kurt was happy that the school year was over but at the same time it didn’t look like he would be spending a lot of time with Blaine. Kurt’s father insisted on visiting his family and then Elizabeth’s side also wanted to spend some time with him. At the same time Blaine’s parents decided to take him on a vacation to Hawaii to visit his grandmother and let him enjoy some much needed rest.

Kurt knew it would do him good to escape for some time but he was also a little sad that they would keep missing each other. A few days before they were both due to leave they decided to meet for a coffee at the Lima Bean.

When the older boy entered the coffee shop Blaine was already waiting for him at a table, two steaming cups in front of him. Kurt smiled and his heart skipped a beat at the sight of the other boy. Blaine was looking much better these days. He smiled more and overall looked brighter and more happy. “Hi.” Kurt said breathlessly as he sat opposite his friend and took the cup of coffee.

“Hi to yourself.” Blaine said back, an easy smile forming on his face. 

“How was the drive?” Kurt asked.

“It was fine.” Blaine said waving his hand dismissively. “But that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about.”

Kurt raised his eyebrows in question. “Oh, and what did you want to talk about?”

Blaine continued to smile at Kurt in a way that made him want to lean back in his chair and sigh dreamily. Then he opened his mouth and closed a few times playing with his fingers and suddenly avoiding Kurt’s gaze. “Ugh, I wanted you to know that I will miss you.” 

Kurt’s smile turned into a full-blown grin. He reached his hand across the table and covered Blaine’s cold hand. Their eyes met and there wasn’t anything more that needed to be said. Kurt wanted to tell Blaine how much the other boy meant to him, how much he wanted them to mean.

But as he continued to look into Blaine’s open and honest eyes he realized that all the feelings they shared were out in the open even without being voiced. 

It all went without saying.

“I will miss you too.”


End file.
